“Raindrops on roses
And whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles
And warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things…”1
Julie Andrews sang these lyrics as the intrepid Maria, an adult orphan who embraced music to soothe her lonely heart. As her story unfolds, what a blessing it was to find herself set into a family! I’d like to imagine that she added a few lyrics to this song…
“Sweet, sticky kisses
And warm, cozy cuddles
Laughter and snapshots
And birthdays with candles
Ball games and bike rides, Kids pumping on swings
These are a few of my favorite things…”
Connection with family and friends is one of my favorite things!
Connection… authentic, encouraging, enriching connection… is to the soul what nourishing food is to the body! Authentic connection usually entails sharing, lots of laughter, heart revelations, and even some tears. These are times when you know and are known. You are cared for simply because of who you are instead of what you can do.
Yesterday, I listened as my daughter shared her heart about what God was doing there in the Philippines. She was facetiming her uncle who she’d not seen or spoken with (aside from the occasional call or text) in a few years. I watched as he listened and affirmed her. What a blessing to see authentic connection overcome time and distance! You and I need these connections for our soul to thrive!
Truly connecting with others requires something of us… it requires time, interaction, and vulnerability.
- Since time is not easily recovered, it is a valuable commodity. We demonstrate value of another person by setting aside time to engage in their lives and build the relationship!
- Interaction might also be labeled communication. However, some would say communication is the art of listening and talking. To me, interaction indicates a deeper level of listening, considering, and responding that enhances relationship and increases understanding by engaging the heart, mind, and spirit.
- While time and interaction might seem like no-brainers, vulnerability is where the brain may slam on the brakes! Relationships can occur with time and even interaction, but they will remain shallow and unfulfilling without vulnerability. Authentic connection can only occur when vulnerability is present. What is vulnerability? Various people may define it differently, but I’d say it’s a bit like peeling back your skin and showing what is truly inside your heart! Being vulnerable is choosing to say, “This is who I am inside; this is what I need; this is where I hurt; this is what I dream.” It’s scary and even painful to open yourself up to others because they are human too! They may not appreciate the gift of you. So, be wise about the who, what, where, and when of vulnerability. But don’t be stingy with sharing who you are! You will only cheat yourself. Dr. Brené Brown brings clarity to the value of vulnerability in her TED talk and it’s worth a listen!2
Deeply connecting with others can be scary! It also can seem impossible if you have a tendency to isolate yourself. However, don’t let that stop you! If you find that you have few authentic connections in your life, my challenge to you is this: Don’t wait for others to come to you! Reach out to someone else, peel back the layers of heart-protection, and engage them in some nourishing interaction!
Just as candy and junk food will not sustain a healthy body, shallow relationships and surface conversation will not sustain a healthy soul.
We need more! Moving beyond the safety of self-preservation to the satisfaction of heart connection isn’t a guarantee of no pain. BUT, moving towards heart connection gives more than it takes. Pressing into authentic relationships with others is a worthwhile, heartwarming, rewarding endeavor. Others are worth knowing and YOU are worth being known!3
Connection will enrich your life as it has mine!
Live Loved!
1Lyrics from “My Favorite Things” written by Richard Rogers for The Sound of Music
2The Power of Vulnerability by Dr. Brené Brown: https://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o
3Read more about your value here: You are Enough & Beautiful Mess