Grief is an unpredictable animal at best…     a ferocious storm at worst.

When we think we’ve tamed it, it figures out a way to blindside us in a moment that’s completely inconvenient!

Most people, whether they know it or not, are in some stage of grief resulting from a life experience. Though the death of a loved one is the most obvious cause of grief, there are a myriad of losses that can bring about the need to walk through the grieving process. Consider these:

• the loss of a dream
• the loss of a childhood
• the loss of a marriage
• the loss of a valued relationship
• the loss of a business
• the loss of innocence
• the loss of a sense of security
• the loss of hope
• the loss of financial stability
• the loss of precious time
• the loss of memories or memorabilia
• the loss of health
• the loss of a home
• the loss of respect

I’m sure you can think of more as you consider your own experiences. Experts on grief suggest that there are five stages in the grieving process:

Each person is different and the process can repeat through multiple cycles with some stages lasting much longer than others.¹

There’s no “cure” for grief. You see, it’s not an illness or a handicap or an “issue,” it’s a natural process.

So how do we muddle through? I’m sure there are many wise and helpful suggestions; but here, I simply offer my own takeaways from walking the pathway of grief:

*Lean into the pain~We shy away from “letting our grief go” because we are afraid it will consume us! But it won’t. Your tears will dry and you’ll pick yourself up to move on with your day. When you feel the urge to cry again, find a safe place and get on with it. Your heart needs to grieve, your mind needs release, and your body needs the stress outlet. Just don’t stay there forever.

*Give yourself brain breaks~Read an entertaining book, watch a movie, take a walk, play solitaire, work out at the gym, have coffee with a friend… allow your mind to be distracted from the pain for awhile.

*Do not attempt to numb the pain~You’ll find yourself on a fast track to addiction. Instead, see above! (However, a little dark chocolate does a body good!)

*Grab the moments of joy~During this season, there may not be many of them… so laugh when the urge hits, giggle at a funny ad, catch a comedy, share a silly moment with someone you hold dear. Experiencing joy does not nullify your loss; it helps you cope with it.

*Surround yourself with trustworthy teammates~You’ll know who these people are and are not before long. Maybe you’ve heard of Aaron & Hur? While Joshua led the Israelites into battle, Moses stood at the top of a hill with his staff raised. As long as he kept his arms up, the Israelites were successful, but when his arms lowered, they began to lose. Aaron & Hur, found a rock for Moses to sit on, then they stood, one on each side, and held his arms up until the Israelites were victorious.²

Notice, they didn’t tell Moses what he should do, how to hold his staff, or what he should say! They went into teammate mode, stood strong beside him, and supported him in the heat of battle till victory broke through! Send the naysayers out of the room! Get rid of those who bring more negative than positive or who are unwilling to shoulder some of the weight of a heavy heart.  These people are toxic to your process.  Instead, look for those who will encourage you (without coddling), who will pray for you, and who are willing to bear some of the weight until you can stand up on your own!

*Dig deep and find the treasure of thankfulness~

Even in the darkest of moments, there are things to find that inspire thankfulness. Speak those treasures out loud so your ears can hear them and your mind will remember. Thankfulness turns our eyes outward instead of inward. A thankful heart brings emotional and physical health with it!

 

Grief can be much like the waves of the ocean… they come and go and what a ride we experience. But… you.will.survive! Yes, you will come through it! One day you’ll wake up and realize that the sun is a bit brighter, your heart is a bit lighter, and you see the world with more hope you’ve felt in a long time. It’s not that you’ve forgotten, but that you’ve embraced your new normal.

When that happens, be ready to share your journey with others. That’s how we survive, learn, and grow… by sharing our journey and living life together!

Live Loved,

¹ Grief.com

² The Bible: Exodus 17

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Are you experiencing grief? How can I pray for you today? Please write it in the comment section and I will agree with you!