“You need to get out of the boat and start walking on the water!”
Wait…. I need to what?
It was one of those “valley times” in my life. I was trying so hard to trust that the Lord was at work in my circumstances. But quite honestly, I really didn’t fully trust He could handle it all for me. My mouth was saying, “I trust You,” but my hands were gripped tight to the helm still trying to make life work out the way I felt it should.
Trusting the Lord explicitly had always been a struggle for me. I’d known it down deep for a long time, but I’d managed to keep that knowledge tucked away in my heart until the time when I couldn’t anymore. As security began to be stripped away, the truth surfaced. And the Lord whispered in my ear, “It’s time to deal with this.”
Over and over in Scripture, we are presented with the understanding that God is a Father1. Isaiah 9:6 declares that He is our Everlasting Father! For those with a fabulous relationship with their earthly father, this presents a ready connection enabling them to grab ahold of God as an amazing Heavenly Father. Unfortunately, there are far too many whose earthly father created an unhealthy understanding of what fatherhood is… and that image is transferred to our Heavenly Father, unfairly.
I loved my dad and I know he loved me. He loved the Lord too and carried an anointing to teach on his life. However, he was human and like me, imperfect. Because he was a diabetic, managing his sugar was an issue. Many times throughout my growing up years, his sugar imbalances caused mood swings, an explosive temper, and often irrational responses to situations. Those experiences led me to believe that even though God loved me, He also could be moody, hard to please, and impatient with my failures. Untrustworthy.
I can imagine what you’re thinking… when I grew in my faith, I should have known that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). I should understand that God was not like my dad. I should’ve grasped that God loves me unconditionally, right?!
Head knowledge rarely becomes heart knowledge without experience opening the door.
During this valley journey, I asked a trusted friend to pray with me. After our prayer time, she dropped a truth bomb, “You need to get out of the boat and start walking on the water! You need to let go of trying to control and stand back, trusting God to do His work.”
As my mind processed the idea, I came to the place where I couldn’t shove down the trust struggle anymore. I laid it all out on the table and looked up at my Heavenly Father… who already knew all about it… and asked Him what He wanted me to do. In the still of that moment, He showed me where I needed to let go. I didn’t wait, I didn’t waiver, I did what I knew He was directing me to do that very evening. I let go of the wheel in the midst of my storm and I stepped out of the boat.
I’d like to say it was easy, but it wasn’t. I’d like to say that the storm stopped immediately, but it didn’t. I’d like to say that I felt totally exhilarated, but I didn’t.
However, I learned that when I keep my eyes on Jesus, the storm won’t defeat me! I learned that He IS trustworthy! He is not moody, or inconsistent, or grumpy. He loves me so deeply that there is nothing I can do to change that… And He never left me, especially in the midst of my storm!
Because I trusted in Him, He brought me victory on the other side of that storm!
Recently, NeedtoBreathe came out with a song called, “Walking on Water.” How this song speaks to me! It reminds me of my journey learning to trust the Lord, unconditionally. There’s no turnin’ back!
Live Loved,
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1Isaiah 63:16, Psalm 68:5, Psalm 89:6, Romans 1:7, Galatians 4:6-7