Pathways to Joy: Authentic Relationship

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I’ve stated from the get-go of this series that joy is an inside job. People and circumstances can make us happy… temporarily. But we cannot rely on people and circumstances to keep us happy for the long haul.

And yet, healthy, authentic relationships are definitely a source of joy!

What is a healthy, authentic relationship? One way to determine what is healthy and authentic is to think about what it is not. Here are some symptoms of unhealthy relationships:

  • Tiptoeing on eggshells: You are always worried about what you say and do around this person because they are easily offended or upset.
  • High maintenance: This relationship is characterized by one person always NEEDING something or depending on the other to make them happy.
  • Volatile and/or abusive: One person is tightly wound feeling their emotions intensely and struggling to manage the extremes.
  • Co-dependent: Unhealthy, destructive habits or addictions are excused and rationalized in this friendship.
  • Fluctuating friend: This person is your friend on some days and not on others. You may only hear from them when they can benefit from you or your skills.
  • Two faced: Can we call this person a friend really? They talk about you to others and others to you.
  • Ear-tickler: This friendship is characterized by friends that only say what the other wants to hear or thinks they need to hear, whether it’s the truth or not.
  • Discontented: This relationship includes a friend who is just not happy, not with life, not with you. They want you to change, but no matter what you do, it’s never enough.
  • Narcissistic: This person is only a friend to themselves. There really is no one else of value in their world; life is all about them, their opinions, their stories, their ideas.

I’m sure you can think of a few other less-than-desirable-friend traits. There’s a very good chance that some of these descriptions made you think of some people in your life. Me too… I’m not saying cut them off, though you may need to distance yourself to find some health and joy in your life. It’s important to understand the value of boundaries in every relationship, but especially in ones that are not fulfilling. There’s a reason that some relationships are considered toxic; like a poison, they destroy parts of your heart and wellbeing. Those relationships will feel empty and leave you hungering for deeper more fulfilling relationships.

So, what IS a healthy, authentic relationship? One that reflects these traits:

  • Encouraging and uplifting
  • Honest, even when it hurts
  • Fulfilling for both friends
  • Open to constructive criticism
  • Life-giving instead of draining
  • Puts the needs of the other above their own
  • Equal give and take on multiple levels (conversation, paying for coffee, sharing skillsets)
  • Relationship trumps being right: Agree to disagree respectfully
  • Spiritually and mentally stimulating

Those types of friends are more challenging to find, but they’re out there! Keep looking! On the journey to establish these life-giving relationships, you will take some detours and hit a few potholes, but when you find them, you will know blessing!

Participating in mutually healthy relationships and experiencing the blessing of authenticity is a pathway to joy! You get to be the real you and loved for it! Your friend gets to be real too and you love them for it! You are able to share your thoughts, ideas, opinions, and dreams in a safe place and so does your cohort! When you start to veer of the path in one way or another, your friend gently steers you right and you do the same with their best interests in mind.


These friendships are truly an incredible source of joy!

Here are some words of wisdom on friends:
“The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Proverbs 12:26

“A man who has friends must himself be friendly” Proverbs 18:24a

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Proverbs 27:6

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

“Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits.'” I Corinthians 15:33

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion…. If one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him.” Ecclesiastes 4:9,10,12a

My prayer for you today is that you already have some quality relationships in your life. Grow them! Invest in them! However, if you are lacking the healthy, authentic relationships described above, I pray that you will ask the Lord to lead you to people who will bring life to you and vice versa.

Note: Healthy relationships are often hard to establish if you are functioning out of woundedness. When we’ve experienced pain, betrayal, or warped friendships, we tend to put up walls to protect our hearts. The result is that we isolate ourselves in an effort to avoid pain. Though understandable, this is unhealthy and will make establishing healthy relationships difficult.  If you find yourself in this place, I encourage you to do two things: Seek counseling that promotes healing AND think of one trustworthy person in your life and purposely be the kind of friend you need. Both of these actions will lay a foundation for authentic, healthy friendships that will be a source of joy!

Live Loved,

#Wipeouthate

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You don’t need to look far to see it. It’s running rampant on the internet… Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, in news articles, and most definitely in the comment section off all of the above. Hate, anger, disrespect, name-calling, accusations, insults, character defamation, sarcasm, hate. I think if people could snarl and spit nails over social media, we’d see that too!

Internet anonymity seems to bring out the inner hulk in too many of us!

It’s not okay! It is one thing to have strong feelings and opinions, it’s another thing to attack people because their beliefs differ from ours. It’s not okay to call people names because they disagree with you and me. It’s not okay, to defame their intelligence because they don’t see things our way. It’s not okay to “scream” insults with our keyboards while telling our children to “sprinkle kindness like confetti” and “don’t be a bully.”

The more comfortable that people (including us) become with verbally destroying one another on social media, the more readily it will manifest in person! Think about it, the rioters who are looting and destroying… Do you think this is their first go-around with attacking others? I’m not going out on a limb to say, “No way!” They’ve done it online already if not in person, but they now feel that world events make it socially acceptable to take it to another level regardless of the consequences.

How do we manage to ask a whole nation of social media experts to hold up, think carefully, choose a better pathway? I wish I knew. But we have to start somewhere.

Somewhere is here: #wipeouthate Wednesday.

#Wipeouthate Wednesdays is a chance for us to remember that we are more alike than different! I can wax eloquent here in listing the gazillion ways we are alike! But for brevity, here are some biggies:

  • We love
  • We want to be loved
  • We feel pain
  • We hurt others
  • We seek happiness
  • We work to achieve goals
  • We want freedom
  • We appreciate respect
  • We have values and beliefs
  • We have melanin in our skin, hair, and eyes
  • We prefer health over sickness
  • We prefer life over death
  • We love

#Wipeouthate Wednesdays for Social Media means:
NO to: political posts, hot topic or current debate posts, conspiracy posts, accusation posts, or even face mask posts! (No rude comments either.)
YES to: encouraging words, kind thoughts, celebrations, positive artistic expression, hopeful ideas, and cute pet pictures! (Lots of positive comments too!)

Think about it… choosing to set aside the things that divide us and focus on the things that unite us??? That’s like a gooey, warm stream of salted caramel sauce pouring over vanilla bean ice cream! Let’s do this!

Live Loved!

Please share on social media!

Pathways to Joy: Faith & Hope

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You cannot have faith without hope. You cannot have hope without faith!

Think about it… these two are inextricably entwined. The very nature of having faith inspires hope! All is not lost, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

The very nature of hope requires that you have faith… faith that what you are presently enduring is temporal, good things are coming!

Faith is a belief, or confidence, in something or someone. Hope is an expectation of better.

Faith and hope pair up to create a pathway to joy! I’ve experienced this over and over in my life. Whether you value faith or not, I cannot share pathways to joy with you without spending time sharing how faith has impacted my journey.

A popular song in worship these days is called The Goodness of God. This song deeply moves me. It celebrates God’s goodness amidst all my ups and downs: life and death, hurts and healings, gains and losses, success and failures. I can’t help but sing with abandonment:

“All my life you have been faithful, All my life you’ve been so, so good, With every breath that I am able, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God!”1

You might read that and think, “Joy, you have no idea what I’ve experienced. I can’t possibly sing those lines and believe it.” You’re right, I don’t know what you’ve been through. You may be still dealing with dredges of pain that I can’t imagine. Even if I’ve experienced what you have, your journey is your own.

Let me share how I’m able to declare that God has been faithful to me in spite of painful times. It’s in the lyrics: “With my life laid down, I surrender now, I give you everything.”1 You see, I choose to submit everything I’ve experienced, the difficult things I’ve endured, to the Lord and His purposes. This is where faith and hope come in!

  • I have faith that God will cause everything to work together for my good because I love Him and have an amazing destiny! (Romans 8:28)
  • I have hope that God can bring good out of what the enemy designed for evil in my circumstances! (Jeremiah 29:11, Genesis 50:20)

It’s all about perspective. When we set our difficult journey within the framework of divine goodness, we can believe that our lives are a tapestry in which the threads of all we experience are woven together to create a masterpiece of beauty called our life.

“But Joy, how can this loving God allow terrible things to happen to us?” This valid question has been asked through the centuries.  People have written books on it.2  I will not attempt to answer it here, but will share this simple truth: humans have free will to choose their actions! When God created Adam and Eve, He said, “Let them have dominion over the earth.”  He gave us the opportunity to govern ourselves (as well as animals and nature).  Why didn’t God stop Eve from talking to satan or eating the fruit that was off limits? If He had, would she have had free will?  Nope… He would have overridden His own law by stopping her free will. 

So, why do terrible things happen in the world? Because you and I, as well as all the people who affect us, have free will.

This is why faith is important! When we have faith that He is a good God that loves us, we invite Him into our lives and circumstances and give Him permission to intervene on our behalf! It doesn’t mean we have life without pain or sickness, but it does mean that He will cause goodness to be the theme of our lives!  That is faith that breeds unstoppable hope, resulting in incredible joy!

Let me go a bit deeper… I don’t just have faith in God… I TRUST God! I trust that He has good plans for me. I trust that He created me amazing. I trust that He loves my family more than I can imagine. I trust that He will never leave me or abandon me. I trust that His Word is true! I trust Him as a Father and Friend. There are times that my journey has been unbearable, yet I’ve come through on the other side! He has proven Himself to me over and over! What joy I have found in my faith! Hope rises up in me when I meditate on His goodness!

If you haven’t considered yourself a person of faith, this may have been a difficult read for you. I hope that you will explore the Word of God and ask Him to show up in your circumstances! I pray that you will encounter His goodness and come to know that He has been there all along, crying with you in the painful times, sharing your laughter, and celebrating your successes.

I would love to pray with you if you want to start your faith journey or need encouragement in it. Drop me a comment with your email and I will connect with you!

Live loved,

1Lyrics from Goodness of God, Bethel Music, Written by Jenn Johnson / Ed Cash / Jason Ingram / Ben Fielding / Brian Johnson

2Where is God When it Hurts? Philip Yancey, When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner are two books you can explore.

Will the Real Jesus, Please Stand Up?

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When I take the time to peruse social media and headlines, I find myself going through a variety of facial expressions… sadness, chuckles, surprise, interest, and eyerolls. This week, the story that garnered the biggest eye roll ever was the one about tearing down “racist statues of white Jesus.” Now, I get that most representations of Jesus we see are not truly reflective of what Jesus looked like as a Judean man. Is that a result of racism? Ummm, no. It’s because people tend to create mental, and therefore physical, depictions from their own frame of reference… all people, not just white. 

Visualization 101… Let me demonstrate. Picture this scene in your mind… A child rode a bicycle down the street and stopped at the park to play with a friend. After an hour, the friends parted and the child returned home. 

Did you picture it? Now, think about your mental picture. You most likely pictured a bicycle that looks like one you have ridden, possibly in your favorite color. The child would’ve been a boy or girl who looks like you or one you know well.  The street would’ve been familiar to you too. What did the kids play? Was it soccer, basketball, or on the swings? Probably what you would have played in a park! Your mental picture might have included a high-five goodbye or a cellphone check-in depending on your experiences. You and I create mental depictions of events based on our own frame of reference.

History 101… America was settled by the Europeans.  Europeans for centuries have depicted Jesus to look like themselves and therefore, each country that they colonized reflected those depictions.  Colonization is not a new concept.  When Rome was a world dominating power, they also sent leaders and troops to established colonies that reflected Roman culture.  It’s what conquering countries did historically. 

Jesus 101… Will the real Jesus, please stand up!  What did Jesus really look like? Since Jesus was Judean born, He most likely had brown skin and brown eyes. His muscle structure would have reflected His work as a carpenter.  Like men of His day, He probably sported facial hair and a head full of curly hair that rested on His collar.1 

The writers of the New Testament didn’t take the time to describe Jesus’ physical attributes to us. In the overall scheme of things, did it really matter? No. Why? Because the writers were much more focused on what Jesus’ character “looked like.” Jesus came to earth equally God and human so that He could bring Salvation to ALL people! His interactions with others reflected the character of God.  Jesus’ life is an incredible example of someone who ministered cross-culturally, across gender lines, to all age groups, disregarding social expectations, ignoring political agendas, and interacting with all socio-economic groups!

Take a gander* for yourself at what the real Jesus “looked like:”

  • Jesus ignored custom by teaching women (custom stated that women shouldn’t be taught because they were untrustworthy and worthless). (Luke 10, John 6 are two examples)
  • Even though Romans ruled over and oppressed the Jews, Jesus healed the daughter of a Roman Ruler, the servant of Roman Centurion, and the son of a royal official. (Matt 9, Matt 8, John 4 respectively)
  • Jesus ministered to the untouchables. He was not afraid to talk to AND even touch those who were considered unclean. (Matt 8-man with leprosy, Matt 9-the bleeding woman)
  • Contrary to the religious mindset, Jesus spent time with the “sinners” of His day which included tax collectors who cheated the people in the name of the government. He declared the criminal on the cross as welcome in Paradise and loved Judas for three years as part of His inner circle in spite of the knowledge that Judas would betray Him. (Matthew 9, Luke 19)
  • Jesus cared about rich (Nicodemus), the working class (the disciples and the crowds of people who followed Him), and the poor.
  • Without thought to gender, age, or economic status, Jesus healed the disadvantaged and hurting whether deaf, dumb, crippled, blind, or demon possessed.
  • Jesus crossed racial barriers and gender barriers when He spoke to the Greek woman in Mark 15 and the Samaritan woman and her town in John 4.
  • When the disciples considered children a nuisance, Jesus welcomed the messy neighborhood kids, hugged them and blessed them! (Mark 10)
  • Jesus told His disciples to preach the Gospel (good news) to Gentiles and Samaritans in Matthew 10.  He told you and I that the good news of the Kingdom of God was to be preached to all nations! Mark 3:10, Matt. 28:19-20)

Call it cliché, but when I listen to the political, social, and relational rhetoric splashing across social media, my question is WWJD? What Would Jesus Do if faced with today’s issues? I can tell you what He would not do… He would not cheer as people violently hurt and destroy; He would not hashtag and holler; He would not flood social media with conspiracy theories; He would not callously dismiss those who disagreed with His point of view. On the contrary, He would be in the trenches helping those in need, holding the hurting, weeping with those who weep, and being an agent of healing wherever He went. How do I know? It’s not hard to figure out if you look at His MO… He spent time with those who disagreed with Him. He listened and discussed ideas. He challenged those who thought they represented truth, but only represented their version of it. He loved, healed, and honored regardless of race, gender, social standing, or political alliance. 

Do you consider yourself a follower of Jesus like I do? Is the real Jesus evident in our lives? His instructions for us are the same as they were when He walked on the earth: Be salt, be light, let your good deeds bring glory to the Father, go and sin no more, love your enemies, give to those in need, do not worry, pray, do to others what you want them to do to you (Matthew 5-7).  All of these are fabulous concrete ways to look like the real Jesus and impact our world!

But… let’s not forget the most important expectation laid out for us: love God first and then love people… all people (Matt. 22:35-39).  What would Jesus do today? He would love people so well, that they would hunger for the Truth reflected in His eyes!  Consider this, when we devalue others (even in our minds) because of their political views, financial status, age, gender, race, or life choices, we lose authority and opportunity to speak into their lives. What does loving God look like? Obedience. What does loving people look like? Kindness, forgiveness, grace, patience, humility, protection, and selflessness. (I Corinthians 13:4-7). If we attempt to speak truth without God’s type of love, we are simply a noise maker adding to the chaos (I Corinthians 13:1). However, when we love others well, we will find an open door to speak life and truth because our actions demonstrate compassion and authenticity.

I encourage you… ask yourself what I am asking myself.  Are my interactions with others, personally or virtually, adding to the chaos and division? Or are they making others feel valued in a way that opens the door for healthy interaction and demonstration of the truth of God’s love. Is the real Jesus standing up in us? His love is the difference between being a noise-maker and a world-changer!

Dear Lord, May we be accurate representations of your love in our homes, in our neighborhoods, in our work places, and online! Help us to value others the way You do! Remind us to weep with those who weep and be agents of healing to this world. May our deeds bring glory to You! We can’t do it on our own, help us, Jesus! Amen!

Live Loved, Be Love,

1British anatomical artist, Richard Neave’s, rendering of men during Jesus’ time (left & middle).

*This list is certainly not all inclusive. The gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, are filled with evidence of Jesus’ love for everyone.  He even spoke truth to the religious people who were determined that He was sent by satan. It’s this group of hypocritical people that He challenged repeatedly because they perpetuated a dead form of “worship” and hindered people from encountering the true God.

Pathways to Joy: Mindful Rest

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The simplicity of this discipline makes it a no-brainer. We value the concept of rest; yet, many of us fail to purposefully incorporate it in our lifestyle. 

Curiously enough, the rest I’m referring to is a verb. It is the act of deliberately ceasing from activity in order to refresh oneself! Being aware of your need to rest is the first step in this pathway to joy. Honestly, I’m a bit like the Energizer Bunny™. Maybe you’re like me, having a tendency to stay on the move, physically and mentally, all day long until the clock demands that I step into my bedtime routine (which is another round of activities before my head hits the pillow).

But mindful rest is different than sleep. It is giving your mind and body an opportunity to actually abstain from activity. Here is where step two comes in… It is CHOOSING to throw up the stop sign to racing thoughts, time demands, and manic media. This is a form of self-care that no one else can enforce but you. A day off will help, daddy duty will make it easier, unplugging certainly paves the way, but only you can embrace mindful rest.

Why is mindful rest a pathway to joy? There is something utterly refreshing when we disconnect ourselves from the need to perform, solve, or accomplish and instead, allow ourselves to just be. Instead of racing, our minds wander aimlessly through paths of peacefulness embracing the simple beauty of being alive.

I can hear the excuses now…

  • You don’t understand!
  • I have too much on my plate.
  • What about the kids?
  • Yeah, right… like that’s going to happen.
  • You clearly don’t have the responsibilities I do.

You’re right, I don’t know what you’re up against. I only know that in my world, I was going 7 days a week trying to be the wife my husband could brag about, the mom that brought home the bacon and fried it up in a pan, the co-worker who filled in gaps, the teacher that students would never forget, the blogger with captivating posts, and the volunteer that never quit serving.

BUT, I realized that not creating moments of mindful rest meant that all of those roles were suffering. To be effective, I needed to create mini-mind breaks daily.

What does a mini-mind break look like? That depends on you. It might mean closing your office door, putting your feet up on your desk and drinking a fresh soda!  It might mean locking the bathroom door and sitting in a dry tub with a pillow behind your head while the family cleans up from dinner. It could be a quiet walk in the park, window shopping at the mall, reading a chapter from a favorite book, or listening to your favorite band and dancing like no one is watching! Regardless, mindful moments are times when you deliberately set aside the demands to perform, evaluate, solve, or accomplish. Step three in this pathway to joy is exploring what simple activity can enable you to mentally unplug from life’s demands.

No matter what your mindful rest looks like, I can imagine what it will feel like!  It’s as if you’re reclining in a hammock strung snugly between two trees.  You gently swing back and forth as a breeze drifts over your relaxed body. A sense of peace allows your brain to wander aimlessly. Deep breaths refresh your body as a smile simmers in your chest.

My experience has been that these moments cause thankful thoughts to surface… often the things I’m thankful for are the very things that I’ve been stressing about!  It’s like the reset button has been pressed and my focus shifts from frustration to thankfulness, thus allowing joy to bubble up!

Your mindful rest probably won’t last for long, but it’s enough… enough to find your balance, enough to ease muscle stress, enough to recharge your mind, enough to enable you to go back into the battle of conquering your own slice of the world!

Mindful rest is not selfish! In fact, it is selfless in that you are empowering yourself to do what you need to do more effectively.  As you develop the skill of mini-mind breaks, share it with others in your world. Be open to sharing responsibilities so that mindful rest can be part of your team and family routines. Teach your children to actively rest as an avenue of self-care. You and your family will become healthier in the process.

One more thought: Setting aside a 24 hour period each week is also beneficial.  This is a different aspect of rest, it is rest as a noun. This rest involves a set period of time to engage in recreation and relaxation instead of responsibilities. Much like mindful rest, though only 24 hours, it is enough to reset your equilibrium, refresh your appreciation for life, and recharge yourself by engaging in something you enjoy!

Mindful rest is a wonderful pathway to joy, but it isn’t really my idea. It’s one that God designed from the very beginning of creation! He chose to rest after 6 days of creating awesomeness!1 He declared one day a week as a day of rest.2 Jesus Himself rested and called His disciples to do the same.3 Don’t ask me why it took me so long to figure it out, I’m just glad I did!

I pray that you are able to find some mindful rest today! May you experience refreshing moments that allow thankfulness, and ultimately joy, to refresh you physically, spiritually, and emotionally!

Live loved!

1Genesis 2:2-3, Hebrews 4:4

2Exodus 20:8, The word holy here means “set apart”

3Mark 1:35, Luke 5:16, Luke 8:23, Mark 6:31

Pathways to Joy: #NotAlone

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Have you ever been given the gift of #notalone? It’s a beautiful moment when you open up your heart and share a painful journey, a deep struggle, or a raging battle and the listener looks at you with understanding and assures you that you are not alone.  Maybe they’ve also fought your battle or they’ve endured a heart-rending experience that rocked their own world… and survived. Maybe their gift of #notalone is the willingness to walk with you through your valley and celebrate with you on the other side. Knowing that we are not alone lifts our spirits in difficult seasons.

Yet, we know that having someone journey with us does not necessarily spark joy.   So how does #notalone become a pathway to joy?

Let me share with you a beautiful piece of poetic truth found in Psalm 139:

1 Lord, You know everything there is to know about me.
2 You perceive every movement of my heart and soul,
and You understand my every thought before it even enters my mind.
3–4 You are so intimately aware of me, Lord.
You read my heart like an open book
and You know all the words I’m about to speak
before I even start a sentence!
You know every step I will take before my journey even begins.
5 You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way,
and in kindness You follow behind me
to spare me from the harm of my past.[a]
With Your hand of love upon my life,
You impart a blessing to me.
6 This is just too wonderful, deep, and incomprehensible!
Your understanding of me brings me wonder and strength.[b]
7 Where could I go from your Spirit?
Where could I run and hide from Your face?
8 If I go up to heaven, You’re there!
If I go down to the realm of the dead, You’re there too!
9 If I fly with wings into the shining dawn, You’re there!
If I fly into the radiant sunset, You’re there waiting![c]
10 Wherever I go, Your hand will guide me;
Your strength will empower me.
11 It’s impossible to disappear from You
or to ask the darkness to hide me,
for Your presence is everywhere, bringing light into my night.
12 There is no such thing as darkness with You.
The night, to You, is as bright as the day;
there’s no difference between the two.
13 You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside
and my intricate outside,
and wove them all together in my mother’s womb.[d]
14 I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex!
Everything You do is marvelously breathtaking.
It simply amazes me to think about it!
How thoroughly You know me, Lord!
15 You even formed every bone in my body
when You created me in the secret place,[e]
carefully, skillfully shaping me[f] from nothing to something.
16 You saw who You created me to be before I became me![g]
Before I’d ever seen the light of day,
the number of days You planned for me
were already recorded in your book.[h]
17–18 Every single moment You are thinking of me!
How precious and wonderful to consider
that You cherish me constantly in Your every thought!
O God, Your desires toward me are more
than the grains of sand on every shore!
When I awake each morning, You’re still with me.

(The Passion Translation, emphasis added)

Read it once, twice, even three times! Let the truth of His presence wash over you. God is always with you!  Everyone else in your life may have abandoned you, but God never will!

“The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake {abandon} you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV

The Passion Translation says it this way in Hebrews 13:5: “…for you always have God’s presence. For hasn’t He promised you, ‘I will never leave you alone, never! And I will not loosen my grip on your life!’” He is holding you safe in His arms and He won’t let go! What a beautiful picture of a father’s love! 

When we are hurting, angry, ashamed, or questioning, our tendency is to run away from God. Many of us have been taught that God is an angry, militant master just waiting for us to screw up so that He can drop the gavel and pass sentence on us.  But while He is holy (thus the need for Jesus’ sacrifice to cover our sin), He is a loving Father who adores us and is waiting to give us the blessings He has stored up for His children.  He is waiting for you to turn your face to Him so He can be everything you need. Instead of running away, run to Him! He is waiting with arms open wide!

“I am Yahweh, your mighty God! I grip your right hand and won’t let you go! I whisper to you: ‘Don’t be afraid; I am here to help you!’” Isaiah 41:13 TPT

Trouble will come, that’s the reality of life.  No one is exempt. But here’s another promise: “But now, this is what the Lord says—He who created you, Jacob, He who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:1-2 NIV

You are not alone! Even in your darkest time, your deepest pain, your most desperate situation, He is near. Whisper His name, allow His love to wash over you. Run to Him! #notalone!

My prayer for you today is that you would feel the presence of a loving God! That you would feel His loving arms wrapped around you and His voice calling your name. You are not alone!

Live Loved,

P.S. Isaiah 49 is one of my favorite Scriptures! I love the idea that God has tattooed my name on His hand (as if He would ever forget!) 🙂 If you’ve never read The Passion Translation, I encourage you to explore it (not all books have yet been translated but you can read: Isaiah, Psalms, Proverbs, Song of Solomon, and the New Testament). The translators also include many footnotes to help us understand what the inspired Biblical authors were trying to communicate to us.

Pathways to Joy: Worth by Birth

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By human standards…
historically, in Europe, your worth in society was connected to your birth. In India, the caste system you were born into determined your destiny. In China, your value was determined by your gender. These standards seem harsh and unreasonable, but society today isn’t much different. Society determines someone’s worth by their degree of “success,” the looks they have, the car they drive, or the money that lines their pocket.

But!

By God’s standards... your worth is based on this eternal truth: God created you amazing! Your birth, your very conception, establishes your worth! God told Jeremiah: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you!” In Psalm 139, David celebrates how God shaped him amazingly in his mother’s womb. You, my friend, can say the same! But there’s more!

God delights in you! Genesis 1 describes the creation of the earth and how God declared each component to be. Feel the build-up of excitement as all Heaven waits in anticipation for His crowning creation! In verses 26-27, with a sparkle in His eye, He turns to Jesus and the Holy Spirit and says, “Let us make man in Our image!” He made man and woman in His likeness… with His character, His creativity, His beauty… and then said that this creation was very good! That’s you! That’s me! He delights in us, His creations!

Maybe the circumstances surrounding your birth were less than ideal. Maybe your family dynamics provided minimal love and acceptance. Maybe you see yourself as a failure. Maybe you feel that the way you’ve been treated or the way you’ve treated others defines your worth. Let me ask you this: If you found a crumpled up, dirty, stained, creased, and smelly $50 bill on the ground, would you still pick it up? Yes! Why? Because the worth of the bill is not defined by its condition. Your worth is also not defined by your condition but by your identity as one of God’s amazing creations!

Understanding this, my friend, is a sure pathway to joy! Knowing that the God of all creation delights in YOU, not because of what you’ve done (or not done), not because of what you believe (or don’t believe), not because of how successful, rich, or talented you are (or aren’t), but just because He created you! This understanding will breed a confidence that His delight comes wrapped up in unconditional love for you and that He cares what happens in your life.

Let me share another precious verse with you as you journey down this pathway to joy. Hebrews 12:2 tells us Jesus CHOSE to endure the atrocities of the cross. Why? For “the joy set before Him.” That joy was the knowledge that His sacrifice was laying the foundations for relationship between all of mankind and God! Adam’s sin tainted the bloodline of man preventing us from spending eternity with a Holy God. But Jesus’ sacrifice was the pure offering that atones for the sin of all man! His perfection covers our imperfection and paves the way for us to have eternal relationship with God. The joy Jesus saw in His mind’s eye was you and me! He was willing to lay His life down to have relationship with us! If nothing else has struck a cord with you, let this be it! He loves you that deeply!

Want to know more about what God thinks of you? Grab a Bible or use Biblegateway.com and check out these verses: Deuteronomy 7:6, Zechariah 2:8, Isaiah 43:4, and Galatians 4:6-7.

My prayer for you is that you will know down deep in your soul how much God delights in you as His creation! And as you grasp that truth, you will begin to understand how deeply He loves you just because you are! May this truth bring joy to you today and every day!

Live Loved! Because you truly are!

Pathways to Joy: Identifying Joy

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joy: /joi/ noun meaning a sense of well-being or contentment, a source of delight

Have you ever wondered about the difference between joy and happiness? If so, you are not alone! A perusal of dictionary definitions shows that wordsmiths are confused as well. As a lover of name meanings, you can imagine that I have taken some time to explore my life-long label of joy!

Happiness is not the equivalent of joy. In fact, you can be very happy but lack joy and you can have joy and not feel happy! Trust me… I’ll explain, it’s more than just semantics!

Happiness is dependent on your circumstances, what is happening around you and to you. When you receive a gift you wanted, or your child earns a high grade, or your boss gives you a promotion… you feel happy! That happiness will last as long as your circumstances allow it. Happiness can be stolen by a turn of events: that gift you wanted is broken, your child drops out of school, the new promotion is in another state. Often, we fall into the trap of seeking out people, objects, and experiences that will make us happy… and they often do! But happiness is temporary, leaving us hungry for the next thing to make us feel good again.

The search for joy disguised as happiness has led to failed marriages, strangling debt, overindulgence, and addiction. When we realize that what we thought would bring us joy only brings temporary happiness, we abandon the current process emotionally (mentally checking out of the relationship), physically (leaving the situation), or spiritually (giving up on a faith process).

Conversely, joy is independent of your circumstances. It is a sense of well-being and peace that comes from within. Joy is an underlying sense that no matter what, we will be okay, more than that, we will thrive! Simply put, joy is an inside job! Don’t get me wrong, life throws some serious curve balls! There will be times that you don’t FEEL the joy. There will be times you don’t even want to search for it! BUT! Authentic joy, though rocked by our circumstances, will not be uprooted! Understanding how to find, embrace, experience and sustain joy is intrinsically tied to physical, emotional, and spiritual health. In other words, establishing pathways to joy is so worth it!

I invite your to join me as I explore pathways to joy! Together, we will explore Scripture, discuss practical habits, and identify joy-stealers. I’m a firm believer that ignorance and knowledge are hereditary! What you choose to learn and embrace, you will pass along to your children and your children’s children. Let’s be purposeful about developing a depth of joy that we can share with the precious ones in our lives!

Live Loved,

He is Risen!

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It’s Resurrection Celebration week, also known as Holy Week! It’s a week to remember the events leading up to the empty tomb that Mary found on that morning so long ago. I had the pleasure of home-schooling my children and even though I worked full-time from home, I remember the blessing of being able to just BE with my kids. During this season, we purposely chose to spend time each day focusing on the gift of Jesus’ Sacrifice for us. One year, we even made a poster and added a picture or symbol for each day. This year, many families will have the flexibility and time to do the same, whether by necessity or by choice.

With that thought in mind, I’ve created a daily plan with activities focused on the events of Holy Week. With a few supplies (many found around the house or easily picked up while grocery shopping), you can facilitate focused conversation, thoughtful activities, and a meaningful family time that honors the Lord and deepens your own understanding of God’s gift to us through Jesus’ death and resurrection.

Palm Sunday & Monday: Read Matthew 21:6-11. Palm Sunday is the day that Jesus made His triumphal entry into Jerusalem.  It was a day when the people publicly declared that He was sent from God! Declare today how amazing Jesus is! Have each family member share something they love about God. Create an individual or family acrostic with the word HOSANNAH by writing each letter on its own line.  Then, write something that the Lord has blessed you with beside each letter. Decorate your acrostic and hang it on the fridge!

Example: H is for a Healthy body and mind!, I is for Incredible creativity…

Tuesday: Read Matthew 26:6-13. A woman poured a bottle of perfume over Jesus’ head to demonstrate her thankfulness for His love and forgiveness. Choose some Scriptures that celebrate Who the Lord is to us as His children.  Write the Scriptures on slips of papers and enclose them in plastic eggs (add a few jelly beans if you’d like!).  Hide the eggs around the house and have an egg hunt!  When the eggs are found, gather as a family and read the Scriptures.  Sing a song together such as How Great is Our God or Our God is an Awesome God. Here are a few Scripture suggestions: Exodus 34:6, Psalm 89:9, 136:3, Isaiah 9:6, Matthew 16:16, Mark 1:1, John 11:25, 14:6, 14:26, Romans 15:13, II Corinthians 4:7, Ephesians 3:20, I John 4:9, Revelation 22:13

Wednesday: Read Matthew 26:36-46. Jesus was willing to do what Father God wanted Him to do, even though it would be difficult. He knew that God was faithful and trustworthy! Create a reminder of God’s faithfulness! Gather planting supplies: small pots, soil, flower seeds, water.  As you put the seeds into the soil, name your worries, fears, and dreams.  Cover those seeds with soil and water.  As you do so, pray together declaring that you trust God with all of them!  When we give our desires and worries to God, He can make something beautiful from them!  Read: I Peter 5:7, Romans 8:28.
Note: A planting “how to” video can be found here.

Thursday: Read Matthew 26:17-30. On Holy Thursday, Jesus served a Passover meal to His disciples. Sing a song together and then brainstorm ways for each member of the family to serve one another. With older children, consider having communion together using grape juice and crackers or even spend time washing each others’ feet as a sign of willingness to serve and honor one another.  Here are some ideas for serving your family:

  • Do another family member’s laundry
  • Share a chore that would typically be individual
  • Wash someone’s car
  • Make a sibling’s bed
  • Create a meal together


Friday: Read Matthew 27:11-55 (or a shorter portion depending on the age of your children). Good Friday is a day to remember what Jesus did on the cross for us.  Watch a kid-friendly video about Jesus’ Crucifixion.  Share about the love that God has for us, even when we mess up.  Draw a cross shape or print one (one for your family or one for each person).  In pencil, write on the cross wrong behaviors such as unkind actions, impatience, selfishness, etc..  As a family, confess those actions and ask the Lord for forgiveness, then erase the words.  Celebrate! Jesus’ death on the cross erases our sins!  Then decorate the cross by coloring it, painting it, gluing on tissue paper, colored rocks, or pretty ribbon!

Saturday: Read Matthew 27:57-66. Imagine how the Disciples felt when Jesus was gone.  They didn’t realize that it was only temporary!  What is something that you are asking God for in your family?  Thank the Lord for the answer even though you haven’t seen it yet!
The Jelly Bean Poem: This is a fun and concrete way to think about Jesus’ sacrifice for us!  Write out or type the Jelly Bean Poem and create baggies of Jelly Beans to share with others.  You can also make a Jelly Bean Prayer bracelet or necklace using beads!  You can find the Jelly Bean Poem here.

Resurrection Sunday: Read Matthew 28:1-10. He is Risen! Make Easter Sunrise Empty Tombs to celebrate that His grave is empty! Use this recipe or find one on Pinterest. One family I know creates an Empty Tomb cake each year. Click here for an easy miniature version. 🙂 Whatever your tradition, embrace it as a way to bring your family together to focus on the beautiful Gift of Easter morning!
Celebration time! Get dressed up! Wear one new item (shirt, dress, hairbow, socks) as a reminder that we are new creations (II Corinthians 5:17). In lieu of going to church this year, watch an online service.  Sing along to the songs, participating just as would if you were there in person. 
Organize a neighborhood car parade: Decorate your cars with streamers and a poster saying, “Jesus is Alive!” or something similar.  Line up in a central place and then drive around your neighborhood with the windows down, cheering and honking!  If you can’t organize a parade, be your own 1-car parade! Celebrate Jesus all day long!

Each Resurrection Sunday, as I get ready for the day, the song Arise My Love plays through my mind (and usually through my speakers)! The grave no longer has a hold on us as believers in Jesus! I am so thankful for the gift of Jesus’ sacrifice! In His death and resurrection we have forgiveness, freedom, healing, deliverance, restoration, an inheritance and everlasting life! Hallelujah! He is Risen!

Live Loved and Free!

Faith Over Fear: A Practical Guide to Mindset Management

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It seems that unless you are living in a cave, you, like me are being inundated with talk, texts, or posts about COVID-19.  My social media world is comprised of parents, teachers, pastors, and young adults trying to come to grips with making decisions in the light of constantly changing information and directives.

If we are not careful, our curiosity, boredom, or just need to be “in the know” will reap a harvest of fear, uncertainty, and paranoia.  For some of my readers, you may already be there! 

This is no time to fear!  Throughout history, when times of stress, trauma, war, and upheaval have come, it’s then that heroes emerge, leaders arise, and problem-solvers create!  Instead of seeing COVID-19 as a curse, it’s time to view it as in impetus! When we look back on this time in history, what will you and I have done to make our world a better place? When we reflect on these world events, will we be able to see beauty arise from the ashes? If we want to be part of the beauty, we will need to conquer the fear!

Overcoming Fear

So, how do we tackle the fear?  It’s all about our Mindset!  Circumstances can help assuage our fear, but they will not alleviate it long-term.  Sure, several rolls of toilet paper can help you breathe a sigh of relief, but that relief only lasts as long as the loaf of bread, or the jar of peanut butter, or the money in the bank.  There will always be a circumstance that can rear its head and thrust us right back into fear. Only managing our mindset will enable us to maintain peace regardless of our circumstances.

Mindset Management 101

  • Be thankful! When your heart and mouth are filled with thankfulness, it becomes hard to complain! Start each day by listing 10 things you are thankful for… clean water, eyes that see, food in the cupboard, fresh air… you get the idea!  Model thankfulness for those around you.  They will catch on. 🙂 When you are thankful, your mindset shifts from complaining to celebrating!1
  • Be busy! Jammies are cozy, the couch is comfortable, relaxing is important! But set boundaries for yourself (and your kiddos!). Get dressed, go for a walk, clean out a cupboard, play a game, learn a language, create, build, read! When you are engaged in life, your mindset shifts from problems to productivity!2
  • Be purposeful! Do you remember that old saying: garbage in=garbage out? It still holds true today.  What you allow into your eyes, ears, and heart will determine what your mind focuses on.  Shut off the 24 hour news loop! Stop reading all those fear-inspiring articles on the internet.  Change a complaining conversation into a constructive one.  When you are purposeful about guarding your home and head, your mindset shifts from cluttered to centered!3
  • Be kind! This should go without saying, but when the world goes topsy-turvy, sometimes our priorities get scrambled and we forget that we are not the center of the universe! Everyone has trials they are navigating; avoid judging journeys that are different than your own.  Smile more, criticize less. Post an encouraging word. Make a “just because” phone call.  Share a square. 🙂 When you are kind, your mindset shifts from self-centered to other-centered!4
  • Be positive! This is a big one, so bear with me! I know that we all have different personalities.  Some of us tend to look at life with rose-colored glasses, while others of us can’t seem to get the dark shades off.  But YOU are in control of YOU!  You can choose to swing your tendency from negative vibes to positive ones.  This will probably be very challenging for those who are chronically negative. Determining to find and focus on the positive may require you to enlist some help.  Ask a family member or friend to help you identify negative ideas and phrases as they come out of your mouth.  Then consciously rephrase your thought to reflect a positive idea.  When you’re tempted to point out the faults in others, pause and look for good instead.  As you grow in this process, you will feel like the sun shines a little bit brighter, people seem somewhat kinder, and the sky really isn’t falling!  Build your positive focus by listening to uplifting music, reading biographies of social heroes (biography.com) and practicing looking for the good around you. When you focus on the positive, your mindset shifts from barrenness to beauty.5
  • Be faith-filled! Being positive is big, but finding faith is foundational! There are not many things in this world worth trusting. People fail, systems fail, finances fail, marriages fail, contracts fail, doctors fail. But my God has never failed me!  There were times when I felt lost or forgotten; but He has never left me.  It has taken me much of my adult life to grasp how deeply and unconditionally my Heavenly Father loves me! I trust in that love.  It’s my faith in His love that enables me to punch fear in its face! If you are struggling to find faith in this season, you’re not alone!  And I happen to know that God loves you deeply and unconditionally. Ask Him to show Himself to you, He will show up for you right where you are! When you begin to grasp how deeply the God of Heaven and earth loves you, your mindset will shift from fear to faith!6

No matter where you find yourself on the fear to faith spectrum, you are never stuck there unless you choose to be! Circumstances may appear to be out of control, but you are not without power! Proactively manage your mindset and find peace… then share it with those around you!

Live loved!

1I Thessalonians 5:18

2Luke 16:10

3Isaiah 26:3

4Romans 12:10

5Philippians 4:8

6Psalm 36:5-7, Ephesians 2:4