Tag Archives: encouragement

Put the Stone Down!

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I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but your measuring stick is flawed.

Please don’t be offended… because mine is also flawed!  Yet, sometimes we wield our measuring stick like a sword aimed at what we consider errors in the lives or opinions of others.

Even though we know we are far from perfect, we forget that our measuring stick is not that of Mary Poppins.  You know the one, the practically-perfect-in-every-way measuring stick. We hold it up to “that neighbor,” “that relative,” “that church,” “that blogger,” “that co-worker,” and find them lacking in some area.  Why does it seem so easy to zero in on the negative?

Unfortunately, highlighting the faults of others seems to be a social epidemic.  If you spend any time on social media, or the internet for that matter, you’ve seen what I’m talking about.  Self-appointed “inspectors” pass over the good in favor of criticizing, cutting down, nitpicking, and judging.  Sadly, I think Christians (and I use this term loosely here) are some of the biggest culprits.

You may have stumbled across one of these situations:

  • Complete websites dedicated to tearing down pastors, prophets, and teachers.
  • Bloggers who have taken the time to write an entire blog about why a worship song isn’t worth singing.
  • Professors who teach that church services shouldn’t have low lights, loud music, dancing, children’s church, etc.
  • People who have stormed out of churches because they didn’t like something the pastor said, did, stood for, or even implied.
  • Those who are more concerned that you use their version of the Bible than living by what’s inside of it.
  • Pastors who use their authority to declare entertainers, music styles, and even people groups as demonic.

How it must grieve God’s heart to see His children throwing stones at others.

Some of you might be thinking, but we are supposed to judge the fruit, right?  We are supposed to be “wise as serpents,” aren’t we?  Let me refer you to the first sentence of this blog and then remind you of the second half of Matthew 10:16, “and be harmless as doves.” Note that the word “judge” means to form an opinion or conclusion.  There’s an old adage that says, “Opinions are like armpits, everyone has them and they often stink!” Much of what criticizers call out in others is simply a reflection of their own opinion or their disagreement of someone’s understanding or interpretation.

Even if someone is doing or saying something that seems askew, what purpose does it serve to publicly defame them?  Does it glorify God? Build them up?  Encourage other believers?  Bring life to the situation?  I’m confident that the answer to those questions is an emphatic “NO!” Rarely ever will public criticism bring about a positive outcome or fruitful discussions.

So, what IS an effective action when you suspect that a speaker, ministry, or songwriter seems off?  Pray and bless! Pray for God to give them (and you) a revelation of truth and clarity!  Pray that they will be drawn deeper in relationship with the Father! Bless them in the areas they are right on track.1

This may come as a shock, but there is NO perfect theology, NO perfect church, NO perfect worship style, NO perfect sermon length, NO perfect author… Do you get my point?

Churches, pastors, ministries, authors are all different and unique.  Why?  Because that’s how God created each one of us!  We were wonderfully formed in His image as one-of-a-kind children who have individual relationships with our Heavenly Father.  As creative as our God is, why do we think that He would want us to have cookie-cutter churches or ministries?

While our tenants of faith stand strong (based on the Word of God), our walks as believers, our preferred ways of worship, our revelations, our engagement with the Holy Spirit will reflect our uniqueness.  He is not a cookie-cutter God!

So if we are all so different, what does God expect of His wonderfully unique children?  God’s measuring stick is reflected in His Word: Seek Justice, love mercy, walk humbly (Micah 6:8), Love God, love others (Matthew 22:37-39), Bless, do not curse (Romans 12:14), Mercy triumphs over judgement (James 2:12-13).

Peter sets forth a challenge:  “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” (I Peter 4:8 NLT)

Here are some practical ways to rise to the challenge!

  • Purpose in your heart to look for the good in others. See criticism as a weapon of the enemy and demolish it!
  • Celebrate the efforts and hard work of ministries, pastors, writers, believers, prophets, etc. who are living and declaring the Kingdom of God.
  • Find and embrace a place of worship that shares your heart, vision, and style. Stick with that church family through thick and thin until God clearly directs you otherwise!
  • Pray for other believers and ministries asking the Lord to bless them in their “on-target” areas and bring revelation to their “off-target” areas.  Pray the same clarity for yourself!
  • Seek to be like Jesus!  Study His life and grab His heart!

Let’s be Jesus-followers together!

Live Loved!

1Note that James 5:19 discusses turning back one who wanders from the truth.  Realize that publicly denouncing someone on social media or anywhere else will not turn someone to the truth.  A personal relationship that is based on love and respect will enable this to occur and the one in error will be protected because love covers a multitude of sins!

Here more here: Designed to Impress

Passion and Purpose

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“Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.” Gilbert Chesterton’s observation is more true than starry-eyed newlyweds would want to consider.  Ask any couple who has journeyed through some years together and they will admit that the dance of married life is not without a few battle scars.

Thirty one years… that’s how long our dance has been going!  What a joy it is to celebrate another milestone of marriage!  As I reflect on our journey, it’s not unlike most others… ups and downs, sickness and health, maybe a bit more poor than rich, some better, some worse.

However, it’s our own one-of-a-kind love story as well.

This dance of marriage has had moments of closeness and distance.  At times life has moved fast with the driving beat, at other times, slow with the cadence of grief.  We’ve had times of holding each other’s hands tightly and moments of drifting apart.

At our last ladies’ retreat, I posed this challenge:  State 3 words that make your marriage strong and lasting.  The answers were almost as varied as the women!  Communication, patience, forgiveness, grace, whoopie, laughter, compassion, wine!  Many of these are answers I’ve given when asked that same question.

Today while thinking about our (thankfully) thriving marriage, I felt fresh words whisper across my heart. 

Deep, lasting, authentic, rich marriages are established by passion and purpose.

 

Of course, physical passion is a valuable and desirable part of marriage and I hope you picked your spouse on purpose. 🙂  But I’m thinking of passion and purpose in a different light.

Passion is a strong or compelling desire for someone or something while purpose is a steely-eyed resolve to follow through on commitment.  Marriages are the joining of two individuals who have their own ideas, agendas, and protocols.  We all come into marriage with a boatload of “stuff” and along with our baggage, we bring expectations of married life that are typically unreasonable and unattainable for two fallible people.

So how do we manage to negotiate the minefields of marriage and come through on the other side somewhat intact?

Passion… that strong and compelling desire… is needed to establish the heart culture of God in our home. This heart culture is one where failure encounters forgiveness, weaknesses encounter grace, and love never fails.

The passionate pursuit of God’s love will establish a culture of Godly love in our marriage!  Ideally, both a husband and wife passionately pursing this life of love, will experience Kingdom culture in their home.  That’s not to say that one spouse cannot accomplish it alone!  God is faithful and will follow through on His part as we pursue His heart of love for our spouse (I Corinthians 13:4-8a).

Purpose… that steely-eyed commitment… is needed to stand strong when the storms of life batter our marriage.  God established you and your spouse as a single unit to work as one (Genesis 2:24). No, it’s not simple, or easy, or convenient.  Sometimes it’s painful, and confusing, and scary.

But set your eyes, not on your spouse, but on the Lover of your soul!  Link your arm in His and purpose to stand strong for your marriage.  Pursue God’s heart and seek His wisdom for you and your spouse.  Seeing God weave your marriage into a tapestry of love, healing, and restoration is worth the struggle!

There’s a plethora of marriage advice available out there if you feel yourself faltering in your journey together1.  That advice can be helpful; but one of the greatest blessings for Andy and I was when we sought the help and support of others who’d been through some battles themselves.  There is no perfect duet… get close enough to any thriving married couple and they may share some of their battle scars along with their victory stories.  Learn from others, grow in your relationship skills, be willing to find authentic people who will invest in you as you invest in your marriage.  Purpose and passion, passion and purpose.  “Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it—because it does.” I Corinthians 14:1 (MSG)

Live Loved,

           

P.S. My heart is to encourage others!  If this blog encouraged you, please share on social media. 🙂  If you would like me to pray for your marriage or that of another, please message me!  I would be honored to pray with you!

1Rejoice Marriage Ministries is a great resource: https://www.rejoiceministries.org/

Favorite Music Friday-Hello May!

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Happy May 4th! 

May is one of my favorite months!  (Though, it’s not nearly as terrific as July A.K.A. My birthday month!)  But May represents so many things to me:

  • The conclusion of a school year
  • Beach days
  • Family birthdays
  • Our ladies’ retreat
  • And Planning Vacation Bible School!
  • Our anniversary!

This year, our church, Freedom International Church, decided to develop our own VBS theme and curriculum!  What a wonderful opportunity for people to exercise their gifts in a creative way!  We are developing puppet blurbs, crafts, games, skits, and Bible points.  Additionally, we need amazing songs that our kids can dance to and that also reflect our theme and heart.

Enter our Favorite Music Friday song of the week (suggested by the Hubby and introduced to us by our daughter, Miranda)-WaveWalker by Citizen Way!  The lyrics are strong, the tune is fun, and the message is clear!  Enjoy!

“You will make a way
When it feels like there’s no way
So I will walk by faith
‘Cause You will make a way”1

So thankful for that Holy Ghost power that enables us to do the impossible!  Thank You, Lord!

Live Loved!

1 Lyrics from WaveWalker by Citizen Way

Favorite Music Friday

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I enjoy music… I sing it, learn it, play it (on the radio!), share it, and engage with it!

I like rock & roll.      

I like rap.

I like worship.

I like soul & R & B.

I like piano.

And this list goes on: gospel, pop, kid’s music, etc. etc.  (Note only the purposeful omission of opera & country!)

So, I thought I’d share a song that is speaking to me, right now!  It’s called Lovely by Hollyn:

The lyrics that pop out to me are:

“But You call me lovely
You say I’m wonderfully made
Your river floods me
Your words feel like a serenade
I love that You are thinkin’ of me
All of those voices fade away
When You call me lovely
Lo-o-ovely
Lovely, You call me lovely
You call me lovely
And I’ma soak in it
And I’ma soak in it
And I’ma soak in it”1
I’m hoping this song blesses you!  Share it with another lovely woman in your life!
Live Loved and Lovely!
1 Lyrics from Lovely by Hollyn

 

 

I Just Can’t… or Can I?

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A humorous moment from the 1998 version of The Parent Trap has Natasha Richardson’s character launching into a stress-induced tirade and declaring, in her beautifully British voice, “I can’t handle this!” (Insert your best British accent here!)  She is about to come face to face with the father of her children whom she hasn’t seen in 11 years.  She follows that comment with the statement, “I’m not mature enough for this!”   As her rant continues, her fussing reflects her insecurities.*  While the scene provides us some chuckles, the reality is that I’ve had a few tirades like this myself!

There have been times in my life when I’ve felt the same exasperation and thrown my hands up declaring, “I just can’t handle this!” I can’t forgive like I should.  I can’t embrace the struggle I face.  I can’t ignore the difficult people I encounter. I can’t meet the demands in my mailbox. I can’t juggle the balls being thrown my way. I just can’t!

And I’m not supposed to… alone!

You see, we weren’t designed to face these challenges alone.  Even Jesus, in His greatest time of need, sought the Father’s help and asked His disciples to pray with Him (Matthew 26:36-39).  In His wisdom, He realized that He didn’t need to face His destiny alone.  So, why do we try to manage life on our own?

In the world, independence is a sign of maturity.  But the Kingdom of God is upside down!  The more we depend on God and His faithfulness, the more maturity is evident in our lives. If you’ve been around Biblical teaching for long, you’ve probably heard of the 10-finger prayer found in Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me!” The Amplified version brings a deeper clarity to this declaration (but you’ll need more fingers!):

“I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him Who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]”

You and I are ready for anything and equal to anything through Christ because He infuses us with inner strength and confident peace! That’s a revelation that I need to grab and embrace!  We truly can do it!  We can face each day’s challenges because of our confidence in who He is and what He can do!  It’s not us, but Him IN us that enables our “can.”  His grace is sufficient to see us through the challenges each day presents (II Corinthians 12:9).

Through Holy Spirit strength, we can forgive.  Through Him, we can embrace.  In Him, we can ignore, we can meet demands, and we can juggle whatever balls life throws in our direction.

 

Don’t misunderstand, facing our challenges will not be easy, simple, short, or painless.  But it is do-able!  We can do it!

Allow this truth to sink deep in your spirit!  You CAN handle it!  He promised to never leave you… so, whatever you encounter, you are not alone. You CAN handle it because His strength infuses you!

There is an old gospel song by Cristy Lane that said it well,

“One day at a time, sweet Jesus
That’s all I’m asking from You.
Just give me the strength
To do everyday, what I have to do.
Yesterday’s gone, sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine.
Lord, help me today, show me the way
One day at a time”**

 

  • Pause in the midst of your pain.
  • Stop when the stress comes rolling through.
  • Delay when the demands are overwhelming.

Whisper His name and invite Him to come to you in the midst of your challenge.

Look back at the victories, then look forward in faith!

When we focus on His Word, His presence, and His love for us, we find ourselves infused with confidence and peace that will enable us to be equal to whatever our day brings.  You Can Handle It!

Phew… I really needed to be reminded of this truth!  Live Loved,

Please share your thoughts below!

*Her character invites her butler/friend to accompany her for support. Spoiler alert: In the end, she and the father reconnect!

**Enjoy Lynda Tait Randle’s rendition of One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus.

 

Sweet Yet Savory

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Years ago, we didn’t know we were trend setters by dipping our French fries into our milkshakes!  As kids, smearing icing on saltines was simply scrounging for a yummy snack. But somehow, the desire to eat salty yet savory snacks became a rage leading to store shelves bearing Pretzel M & Ms™, Pecan Pie Pringles™, and Salty Caramel candies galore!  There’s something about the tangy flavor of salt combined with delicious sweetness molded into one bite!

 

What if you and I were sweet yet savory people?  Crazy idea, huh?!  What if followers of Jesus purposed to live in a way that offered those around us a “salty sweet” presence that reflected who we are and Whose we are?  Let me explain…

It was Jesus who declared you and I the salt of the earth (Matt. 5:13).  What is the purpose of salt?  In a nutshell… this is what salt does1:

  • Preserves quality
  • Enhances flavor
  • Removes bitterness
  • Provides nutrients
  • Binds together
  • Increases brightness

 

Hmmm….

Now apply those characteristics to personal interactions.  Do you and I bring good things to the table?  Do we preserve others, enhance conversations, remove bitterness, speak wisdom, promote unity, and brighten lives?  Wow! When I consider the characteristics of salt, I sense a strength, an authenticity even, that presents itself while engaging with others. It’s living and interacting in an integral way that brings glory to God.

So where does the sweetness come in?

Colossians 4:6 reminds us, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”  I believe the sweetness comes through us in the form of grace!  Grace takes mercy to a whole new level!

Mercy is when we don’t receive consequences we deserve.  Grace is when we not only don’t receive what we deserve, but we are blessed with something we don’t deserve and didn’t earn! Grace is the ability to treat others with kindness and value regardless of whether we feel it is deserved.  It allows us to answer anger with gentleness; to give blessing to those who curse us; and to forgive the ones who break our hearts (Prov. 15:1, Matt. 5:44,18:21-22).  In a nutshell… Grace brings a sweetness to interactions, even if they are in painful or uncomfortable situations.

Sweet and salty, grace and strength…  a powerful combination, a recipe even.  As ambassadors representing the Kingdom of God, when our interactions with others are patterned with salty qualities and the sweetness of grace then wrapped in God’s love, we will walk in favor and influence like we never have before!   Each personal connection is an opportunity to love others, be encouraging, dismantle bitterness, and promote goodness!

What a powerful opportunity for us!  Sweet yet savory!  Be a life well-seasoned! I’m up to the challenge, how about you?

Live Loved,

 

P.S. Please share your thoughts by clicking the reply button!  I appreciate your input.

P.P.S. Try one of my favorite salty sweet combinations here: Rolo Pretzel Turtle Bites

1   Functions of Salt

All I Need

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What is it that you need in 2018?

I love learning about the names of the Lord sprinkled throughout Scripture!  When I need healing, He is Jehovah-Rophe. When I need provision, He is Jehovah-Jireh.  When I need forgiveness, He is Jehovah-Tsidkenu. When I need His presence, He is Jehovah-Shammah.  He is my Counselor, my Everlasting Father, the God of Angel Armies, and King of kings. When Moses asked God what name he should give to the children of Israel, God’s response was, “I AM WHO I AM.”

Sometimes… I don’t know what I need. I don’t know what to ask for.  I don’t have the words to ask.  But He knows!  I simply need Him! The I AM!  HE IS what I need and He knows what my heart needs… He reminds me “I AM enough!”

He is I AM…

He is enough for you! He is enough for me!

I was meditating on this idea when I read from one of my Christmas gifts: “I Hear His Whisper” by Brian Simmons.

“I {God} am enough for you.  When you face difficulties and limitations, I will whisper into your heart, “I am enough.”  I will not shield you from every hardship, but I am enough as you walk through them with your eyes set on Me.  I am enough.  I will be your wraparound shield in the midst of difficulty.

Your thoughts cannot contain the love I have for you.  And you will never be able to comprehend with your mind the plans that I have for you.  Yet I am enough, and all you need to know is that I am here for you.”

No matter who you are or where you’ve been or what you’ve done, you are deeply loved and treasured by God!  Turn your eyes to Him and open your heart to His love and grace!  You don’t need to change to receive His love; it’s a done deal!  He loves you and there’s nothing you can do or not do that will change His love for you!

Whatever 2018 brings, don’t face it alone!  You have an advocate in Jesus!  He is your Comforter, your Healer, your Deliverer, and the Lover of your soul!  Our Heavenly Father, the Great I Am is enough!

May the Lord richly bless you and your family in 2018!  May it be a year of wonderful surprises, amazing victories, and Kingdom revelations!  May you know God’s deep, unconditional, abiding love more than you ever thought that you could!

Live Loved,

 

One Word…

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As the clock ticks towards midnight… not just any midnight, but the end of 2017… I confess, I’m excited!  Not to see 2017 end, but to see 2018 begin!

For the past few years, I’ve embraced the One Word Challenge… asking the Lord to give me a word to characterize the upcoming year.  It’s a word that would reflect what the Lord wants to do in and through me during this season. (I gave up on New Year’s resolutions a long time ago!)  My sweet friend, Deanna Shrodes, writes more about the One Word Challenge.

For 2017, the word He gave me, “training” wasn’t too exciting!  But quickly the Lord confirmed in my heart that this was His word for me and why.  Now, looking back over the past year, I can see where I’ve been trained and had the opportunity to train.  The result has been growth in many areas of my life!  There is value in what has transpired in my life and I am so thankful!  Yet, I’m ready to embrace the new things the Lord has for me!

“But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
For I am about to do something new.  See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”       Isaiah 43:18-19 (NLT)

Last Sunday, I realized how close we were to the end of the year and I reminded the Lord that I needed a word for 2018. Suddenly, I felt Him drop a word in my spirit with a kiss on my forehead!  Truly, the Lord holds precious gifts for us and is just waiting for us to pause and listen!

After this “mic drop” moment, I meditated on the word the Lord gave me for 2018.  Immediately, I searched for a Scripture to confirm the word.  I can’t help but smile and feel His favor on me for this new season.  (Cliff hanger… I’m not going to share the word yet!)

What about you?  Have you had it with resolutions that have rotted away?  Are you ready for a fresh approach to a new year?  Steal away for a few moments and seek His face.  Ask Him to whisper His heart into yours.  What word can you embrace for your new season?  Set your sights towards how He will move in and through you in 2018!

“Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise His holy name.
Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things He does for me.
He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.
He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies.
He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!” Psalm 103:1-5 (NLT)

I would love hearing the word the Lord gives you, so please share!  I’ll share mine too… soon!

Live loved!

Life Giving Treasures

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It’s a small wooden trunk, a simple box really, but every time I glance at that trunk, it brings a smile to my face!  It’s not the box itself, but the knowledge of what resides in it.  Words… so simple, yet quite profound.  My wooden trunk is filled with the words of others… words of thanks, words of love, words of encouragement.  That trunk is a “thesaurus,” literally, a treasure of words that speak to my heart.

 

 

You may be familiar with the Five Love Languages™ introduced by Gary Chapman.  These “languages” are the primary ways that people tend to give and receive love.  Words of affirmation are appreciated by most everyone, even if it’s not each person’s top love language.  For me, it ranks near the tippy-top!  So, when I receive a card that includes a note of blessing or affirmation, it touches a place deep within me and replenishes my “love tank.”

Words of affirmation can be simple “good jobs!” or “You’re great!” But that’s truly just the start!  Life-filled words stir sparks of hope in disheartening situations.  They bring inspiration in the midst of discouragement.  Words of affirmation provide comfort in hurt, light in darkness, and peace in the fearful places.

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

Life-giving words are tools that build others up.  They may be declarations of a positive future, celebrations of character qualities, or sharing of proud moments.  We are made in the image of our Creative Father God!  He enables us to find creative ways to use our vocabulary of “life” words to build up those in our realm of influence.  One of my “treasure cards” includes 10 truths that a precious sister wrote about me.  What a creative way to build up a friend!

The beauty of written words is that you can revisit them often.  However, spoken words are precious drops of blessing as well.  Encouragement and life spoken to or about someone in the hearing of others strengthens hearts and heals souls.  Ephesians 4:29 reminds us to use our talk to build others up according to their need at that moment.

Life goes fast, often dragging us behind…  It’s time to press pause and ask ourselves, “How can I build others up today?” “What word of encouragement can I speak to a service worker?”  “What positive declaration can I make over a difficult situation?”  “In what way can I celebrate my spouse, child, or co-worker?”  The opportunities are unlimited!  All that’s required are life-building words and a heart to bless!  II Corinthians 4:7 declares that the Treasure that’s inside of us longs to pour light and life on those in our world; and YOU and I get to be a part His plan!

Dive Deeper: Proverbs 18:21, II Corinthians 4:6-7    

Live Loved,

Please share your thoughts by leaving a reply!

Beautiful Mess

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Excited to be featured on Strong and Courageous Women Magazine’s Blog today!  This is an encouraging and uplifting digital publication featuring articles about marriage, parenting, beauty, faith, and more.  Some of my articles have been featured in recent issues as well as the work of friends that are faith-filled women!  Head on over and let “Beautiful Mess” encourage you today!

Strong and Courageous Women: Beautiful Mess

For Subscription information: Strong and Courageous Women: Digital Magazine

Live Loved!