Category Archives: Emotional Health

Go Ahead and Name It… But Don’t Stop There!

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Have you ever felt just… off? Like there’s something wrong, but you just can’t pinpoint what it is? That nagging feeling won’t leave you alone and you rack your mind to identify it. Sometimes the source is as simple as a bill needing paid but at other times it’s a more complex emotional issue that will eventually need to be addressed.

When that “Aha” moment comes and you settle on the source of your angst… there’s a bit of relief from naming it: anxiety, grief, anger, attention deficit, clinical depression, discontent, compulsive behavior, fear, exhaustion, addiction, loneliness, frustration… or something else just as discouraging. But once you’ve slapped a label on it, in the words of Journey, “Where do we go from here?”

This is where I found myself… not so long ago. I felt frustrated and misunderstood. My feelings were raw, my heart sensitive, and yet, not much around me had changed. Because I couldn’t identify the source of my emotions, I didn’t really know how to talk to anyone about it. I stayed trapped in that place of edginess until I decided to stop wondering about it and went to the One who made me! I’m so thankful for the truth deep in my spirit that God loves me and knows exactly what is going on in my heart!

After some prayer and heart-searching, I realized that an old foe had come back for a visit… its name: rejection. From childhood, this has been a source of pain and through the years, layers have been added. I also feel like layers have been removed through healing and a deeper understanding of who I am in Christ. But life happens and we get knocked back onto our proverbial backsides at times.

But THIS is what I want you to hear… when you and I have come to the place where we are able to name our struggle, that is not the end! It is just the beginning of our journey (no pun intended )!  

Too often we settle for simply naming our issue and then we allow it to manage us:

  • I deal with anxiety, so I can’t …
  • The grief is too much, I guess I’ll always feel this way.
  • Yes, I have ADHD, that’s why I …
  • No one gets me, so I don’t even try
  • I have anger issues, that’s just who I am.
  • I wish I could travel, but I’m too nervous to go anywhere

Just because you and I name our struggle does not give us an excuse to not address it! Where do we go from here? We go from naming our challenge to dealing with it and then overcoming it!

These struggles are REAL issues and often can be traced back to painful experiences. However, no matter how valid your pain and discomfort, do not allow it to hold you captive! Do not allow it to limit who you are or what you can do! Grab ahold of the label, look it in the eye, call it by name, and get ready to live your life well… in spite of it!

Here are some weapons that helped me effectively subdue my “label.”

  • Talk to someone you trust and ask for their support. Bringing feelings, circumstances, concerns, and fears into light brings a measure of freedom in and of itself.
  • Do an online search for practical strategies relating to your label. There are tried and true ways to manage executive dysfunction, grief, addiction, and just about anything you can label!
  • Therapy… Patient, objective support and input from a therapist is valuable. Some employers even offer free sessions as part of a healthcare package.
  • Research natural healing: magnesium for stress, exercise for attention deficit, essential oils for anxiety, etc. (Be sure to check with your physician if you are taking medications.)
  • Speak positive declarations over yourself! Refuse to make your struggle your identity! You are created amazing! Declare truths over yourself out loud on a daily basis. If you are unsure of your value or identity, check out these blog posts: Stolen Identity and Worth by Birth.

Do what you can in the natural and then ask God to put His SUPER on the natural!

  • Understand that the Name of Jesus is above EVERY name! Jesus above every label, diagnosis, emotion, and trauma! The promises of God are true and sure. If God is for us, who (or what) can be against us? He is greater in us than any label on us. Check out: Ephesians 1:18-23, Philippians 2:9, Romans 8:31-35, I John 4:4. Let this song be your declaration: I Speak Jesus.
  • Hide the Word of God in your heart, place it on your fridge, play it in your car… The Truth of God’s Word will help you deal and defeat what life has sent your way.

Is overcoming a life-challenge easy? Of course not! Rarely is anything worthwhile accomplished without effort. But is it worth it? YES! Not only will you grow in strength and wisdom, but your successful journey will serve to inspire others. Go ahead and name your challenge and then tell it to shut-up and sit down! You are an Overcomer!

Live Loved

PS: If this blog post encouraged or challenged you, please share on social media! Blessings!

What Type of Culture are You Facilitating?

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Culture… It can be defined as the customs, beliefs, values, and celebrations of a particular group of people. While we typically associate culture with a country’s people group, there is a myriad of other cultures.

Family cultures vary in birthday celebrations, entertainment choices, discipline styles, faith commitments, and vacation destinations.  Churches, restaurants, towns, and workplaces also have their own versions of culture.

Whether you are a stay-at-home parent, a teacher, a waiter, a welder, a consumer, or a football fan, you are contributing to some culture, most likely several cultures! So, what are you adding to the cultures in your realm of influence as you go through your day?

I ask this because cultural contributions are a topic close to my heart. Each part of our day gives us an opportunity to choose between positive and negative contributions. As we drive to work each morning, we can positively or negatively impact the traffic culture. (Let that sink in… is your horn a tool or a tactic? Do you wave someone on or wag a finger at them?)

In the busy coffee shop, we can stir up discontent or exemplify patience. Yes, even that seemingly small choice will make a difference in the atmosphere while we wait. Cultural contributions are evident in our facial expressions, our words, our actions, and our attitudes. (When stressful moments come, what we carry in our heart is what comes pouring out… but that’s a topic for another blog!)

While your daily contributions do impact the culture around you, facilitating a culture takes our responsibility further. If you’ve read this far, don’t stop now! 😊 Think of the top 2 or 3 places you spend most of your time. These are the places where you have a role in culture facilitation.

I’ve worked jobs that felt like I was working with family. There was laughter, encouragement, and a boatload of inside jokes. I’ve also worked at jobs that felt like eggshells were scattered all over the floor and stepping on even one would lead to disaster. You had to be careful of what you said, who you said it to, and what tone you used. Similar contrasts can be seen in every culture that we engage in. A negative culture will multiply stress, decrease fulfillment, and increase a sense of aloneness.

My current school has been my work home for over 14 years. We’ve had our ups and downs and the student population we serve comes with more challenges than many. And yet, I have no desire to go to a more affluent school, higher paying district, or one with more accolades. Why? Because I am part of a staff that has worked to develop and maintain a positive culture even through administration changes. Is everyone 100% all in? No… rarely does that happen. Is everyone trustworthy or positive or culture-focused? Nope! BUT, the majority–from admin to cafeteria staff to custodians to teachers–are committed to giving their best day to day. And… don’t miss this… there is an attitude of togetherness, support, and “I’ve got your back” that sets our school culture up for continued success even when the changes, the data, the challenges, can feel smothering and disheartening. This positive culture was not built by one, but by many. It didn’t happen overnight, it happened when individuals chose to show up, give their best, and seek the good of the whole consistently.

Is this type of work or school culture feel foreign or unattainable to you? Do you want to help facilitate a positive culture but you’re thinking: “You have NO idea what my workplace, home, or school is like!” Let me encourage you… YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE! Maybe the macro level is out of your realm of influence, but the micro level is not! You can facilitate a positive culture in your home, your office, your workshop, your classroom, your worship center, or on your team!

The starting point is this: Treat others the way you’d like to be treated (not the way you’ve been treated)!1

How did Cindy Lou Who get through to the Grinch? By showing kindness that he did not expect or deserve!2

In addition to kindness in the face of crudeness, consider these commitments needed to facilitate a positive culture:

  • Be humble-We all make mistakes, don’t be afraid to own up to yours!
  • Be generous-It will come back to you!
  • Be honest-Lies and half-truths will eventually bite you in the behind and ruin your reputation!
  • Be respectful-The CEO and the janitor deserve the same level of respect, manners are important!
  • Be nonjudgmental-Rarely do we know what others are walking through!
  • Be cautious with your words-Talking about others negatively reflects more on you than on them!
  • Be encouraging-Celebrate the successes of others, big or small!
  • Be compassionate-Life can be challenging for all of us even on a good day!
  • Be teachable-No one knows it all or likes a know it all!
  • Be integrous-Doing the right thing will help you sleep well at night and make you the type of person that others trust and appreciate!

Be the change! Choose 1 thing you can do today or tomorrow that will bring a positive vibe to your realm of influence. You won’t regret stepping up your game when it comes to facilitating a positive culture at home, school, work, or on the field. When you lay the groundwork, others will join you. You truly can make a difference!

My students say a chant with me every day. It starts with: “I am one of a kind! I bring something to this world that no one else can.” We declare some other things over ourselves and then end the chant like this: “I am a world changer!” So are you!

You are amazing!

1Jesus (Luke 6:31)

2The Grinch Who Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss

An Anchor for Your Soul

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Welcome to 2022! It’s a fresh page in the newest chapter of your life! The Lord has preloaded experiences, events, and encounters into each day of this new year (Ephesians 2:10).  He designed each day specifically for you and with your best interests in mind (Psalm 139:13-170)! It’s important to have faith in His plans and purposes because not all of those experiences, events, and encounters will be easy.

As you embark on Day 1 of whatever year this is in your journey, can I encourage you to grab ahold? Grab ahold of a promise of God that speaks to your heart and will sustain you through the difficult times! It doesn’t have to be the same promise all year; in fact, God wants to give us “fresh bread” a.k.a. “fresh Truth” each day. You see, when the river of life begins to churn and feel more like white water rapids than a docile stream, we NEED to have an anchor to cling to! That anchor is found in the Truth of God’s Word and in the Truth of His character.

Let me connect two verses for you that I hope will encourage you to dig afresh into God’s promises for you!

In Jeremiah 1:12, the Lord tells the prophet “for I am watching to see that My word is fulfilled” (NIV). When the Lord makes a declaration, He is committed to follow through on His Word! That’s exciting!

Now check out II Corinthians 1:20: “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through Him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God” (NIV). Imagine a child that has an earnest desire and climbs up on daddy’s lap to make her request knowing that the answer is already a “yes.” That child has no fear or trepidation, only confidence in what is to come!

With the heart of that child, we participate in the process by identifying God’s promises and then affirming them with an “Amen” in our lives! Sure, God can do things on His own, but He wants to partner with us in this journey! He wants to build our confidence in His faithfulness (Hebrews 1:21).

Each new year, I pray for a word to help me embrace what the Lord has planned for me. This year, He gave me the word “hope” with Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (NIV). I don’t know what experiences, events, and encounters even today holds, but I know Who holds me every step of the way and my hope is in His faithfulness!

Reach out for a Word from your Daddy, a promise1 from His heart, and know that He is faithful to bring it to pass! He is not sending you into 2022 with a handshake and pat on the back, He walks with you every step of the way. Grab ahold of a promise, grab ahold of some Truth, grab ahold of HIM each moment of every day and watch Him fulfill His promises to you!

Live loved,

1 There are many, many promises God has given us in His word. If you are unsure where to start, here are some resources for you. When you read one that causes your spirit to jump, that’s a great starting point!

“The Missing Ones” Book Launch

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Dear Readers,

I am so very blessed and excited to announce that my first book has been published and is now available on Amazon! The Missing Ones: A Journey of Hope and Healing for Families of Prodigals is a faith based manual to provide help and encouragement for families dealing with hurt caused by:

  • abandonment
  • addiction
  • grief
  • loss
  • dysfunction
  • damaged relationships
  • estrangement
  • unfaithfulness
  • and more

The Lord stirred this work in me several years ago and I believe that the truths and tools He gave me in the process are needed by so many families! Each chapter includes Scripture-based truths as well as prayers over the reader, recommendations for application, and declarations the reader can make in faith. Would you join me in getting the word out to as many people as possible so that hurting hearts and families can find the words of encouragement and healing inside?

The Missing Ones can serve as a personal devotional, a resource for helping others, or a book study for life groups or Bible studies.

My goal is to also create an audio version for my prefer-not-to-read friends or those who use books as company during commutes. Please pray with me as I journey through that step.

If you have read the book and found it to be a blessing and encouragement, please leave me a review here in the comments. If you purchased on Amazon, I’d greatly appreciate your review there when done. (Any other reviews are welcome on Amazon; however, due to Amazon’s algorithms, if you are not a purchaser through Amazon, they automatically downgrade your review 🙁 ). I’d also appreciate if you’d share your thoughts on my book on your social media accounts including a link to it if possible.

One more thing… would you please pray with me? Pray that this book reaches the many hurting families around us. Pray that estranged relationships are healed. Pray that hope rises in the hearts of those who have been wounded. Pray that prodigals will find their way back into the arms of the Father who loves them deeply! Thank you!

Loving God and Loving others brings such blessing!

Living the Light,

To the Point Tuesday: Will you ever… ?

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Ephesians 3 rocked my world! Crazy, right? I mean, it’s not like I hadn’t read it before. In fact, I could have quoted several of the verses.

But this time, just… wow! It wasn’t so much that Paul willingly accepted jail time because he could see the purpose in it. It wasn’t even that God’s plan for Salvation and unity were made perfect in Jesus, or even that we now have confidence to go freely before the throne of the King of kings. As awesome as those Truths are, it was Paul’s prayer for you and me that gripped my heart and brought a new hunger to my spirit (3:14-20).

So I ask: Will you ever grasp the magnitude of the love of Christ for us? Will I? This love that is deep, intimate, all inclusive, endless, far reaching, and extravagant? I truly hope so! We need at least an inkling of it because it’s that understanding that leads us to experience God’s presence and fullness in our lives!

Don’t worry, though, we are not alone in our journey to grasp His love for us! In verse 16, Paul prays that all believers will be strengthened and empowered by the Holy Spirit in the very core of our being (innermost part) so that Christ will dwell in our hearts through faith. Sometimes we think this is the end-goal of the Gospel: to have Jesus in our hearts as our ticket to Heaven. But, if we stop there, we miss out on the incredible richness of a relationship with Abba… Daddy!  We miss out on developing a relationship with Jesus, our Co-heir and Groom. We spend our days trying to be “good enough” instead of living life with the Holy Spirit as our Coach, Comforter, and Counselor.

God has SO much more in mind for us!

As we become secure in the idea that Jesus loved us enough that He gave His life for us (head knowledge), we want to know Him! We choose  to grow in intimacy with Him through relationship. It is in that journey that the Holy Spirit enables us to KNOW the love of Christ… he takes it from head knowledge to heart knowledge! We begin to grasp that He loves us, ALL of us, deeply, intimately, endlessly, and extravagantly! With that deep understanding, we become filled with the very presence of God in all of His fullness! Wow! Yes, please!!

Paul closes out his prayer glorifying God and declaring praises from every generation from now till eternity. And in that closing, don’t miss this incredible reminder and promise: The God that we serve, our Abba, is able to carry out His purpose for us! He is able to do superabundantly, infinitely, immeasurably more than you and I can ask, imagine, think, hope, dream and pray! Now I ask, are you dreaming? Are you asking? Are you hoping? Are you praying? I sure hope so. Let’s declare, “Yes, and Amen!” to this promise!

On your behalf and mine, I pray in agreement with the prayer in Ephesians 3:14-20. Here is that prayer in The Passion Translation:  “So I kneel humbly in awe before the Father of our Lord Jesus, the Messiah, 15 the perfect Father of every father and child in heaven and on the earth. 16 And I pray that He would unveil within you the unlimited riches of His glory and favor until supernatural strength floods your innermost being with His divine might and explosive power.

17 Then, by constantly using your faith, the life of Christ will be released deep inside you, and the resting place of His love will become the very source and root of your life.

18–19 Then you will be empowered to discover what every holy one experiences—the great magnitude of the astonishing love of Christ in all its dimensions. How deeply intimate and far-reaching is His love! How enduring and inclusive it is! Endless love beyond measurement that transcends our understanding—this extravagant love pours into you until you are filled to overflowing with the fullness of God!”1

Live Loved,

1 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ephesians+3&version=TPT

To the Point Tuesday: Did You Ever…?

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Last week, I asked you… Have you ever felt chosen? Ephesians 1 declares that ALL of us have been chosen to have relationship with God. Ephesians 2 takes us further and so I ask…

Did you ever?

Did you ever accept the invitation to live in grace? It is God’s grace that allows us to truly live and be reconciled by the sacrifice of Jesus.  And it’s only by grace… not anything you or I can be or do.

Many people, like me,  grew up with the “pull yourselves up by the boot-straps” mentality. Our motto is: We can accomplish what we set our minds to do. So, it can be challenging and humbling to realize that there is no way that we can achieve salvation on our own. But it is also freeing! Because if we can’t gain it on our own, then we can’t lose it on our own either! Our Salvation rests in what Jesus has already done for us and our willingness to accept the invitation to live in God’s grace. Wow!

Yes, it’s that simple and yet profound! Say “yes” to the invitation to live in God’s grace… there’s an abundant supply of His mercy and grace available to you. When you realize how very much God loves you, you’ll stop wondering if you are “good enough” to be His kid or “bad enough” to even need Him. Instead you’ll rest in the knowledge that you are His workmanship, His masterpiece, His poetry! And then you’ll want to get to know Him better and learn the desires in His heart for you. (vs. 10)

There’s so much more to learn in Ephesians 2! Read on to learn about how the blood of Jesus:

  • Gives access to the Father through the Holy Spirit
  • Brings unity
  • Fulfills the requirements of the law
  • Break downs the walls of prejudice
  • Abolishes ethnic barriers
  • Makes us citizens of Heaven!

“But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.” Vs. 13

I hope you say, “Yes!”

Live Loved,

To the Point Tuesday: Have You Ever…?

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Lately, I’ve felt compelled to dig into the book of Ephesians. I armed myself with multiple versions, a notebook, and my favorite colored pens.  After digesting the first chapter, I had to ask you, my readers…

Have you ever?

Have you ever felt chosen? wanted? pursued?

The truth is, no matter how you’ve felt, you are all of those things!!

You are Chosen! You are Wanted! You are Pursued!

In Ephesians 1, the Holy Spirit assures us that before the very foundations of the world, before Adam and Eve listened to lies, before sin became the norm, God designed a plan to restore our relationship with Him!

ALL OF US! Please don’t miss the ALL!* God knew what you were going to be like before your first breath. He knew about my struggles before I was formed. He knew the good, the bad, and the ugly about all of His creations before Adam and Eve opened their eyes.

Yet, He wants to have a relationship with us! He delights in us! You see, the same love He has for Jesus, He has for ALL of us. He longs to have relationship with each and every person He created. We are His kids, made in His image!

Through the sacrifice of Jesus, we are adopted and restored as His very own. He has co-seated us in the Heavens with Jesus! This is just a taste of what we are invited to participate in! Dig into Ephesians 1 for yourself! Ask the Lord to stir a hunger for a deeper relationship with Him.

Live Loved,

*John 3:16, II Peter 3:9, Romans 10:12

To the Point Tuesday: Is Your Heavenly Dad Proud of You?

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Have you ever wondered if God is proud of you? As parents, we tend to tell our kids that we are proud of them for working hard, accomplishing a goal, or making wise choices. Agreed? As children of the Heavenly King, it makes sense that we’d want Him to be proud of our choices and efforts, right?

A quick dive into the Word of God reveals the following:

  • When God created man, He looked at His creations and said, “They are very good.” (Genesis 1:26-27)
  • We are to “walk” through life in a way that is pleasing to God. (I Thessalonians 4:1)
  • We have right-standing before God in Jesus. (II Corinthians 5:21)
  • God loves us with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)
  • He declares that He delights in us. (Isaiah 62:4)
  • Our Father will lift us up if we choose to walk in humility (I Peter 5:6-7)
  • He rejoices over us with gladness and singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)
  • We are blessed when we give praise to the Lord. (Psalm 89:15)

So, I don’t know if God is proud of you and me. But I do know this….

We are blessed when we choose His ways!

He loves us deeply and unconditionally because we are made in His image!

The righteousness of Jesus covers us giving us access to His presence!

When we love Him, walk in obedience, and love others, He is pleased with us!

He adores us and rejoices over us!

Let those thoughts roll around in your spirit! Your Daddy delights in you! Why wouldn’t we want to live in a way that lights up His face with a smile?

Live Loved,

To The Point Tuesday: Can’t We All Just Get Along?

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Relationships… they can be a tremendous blessing or a massive challenge. Sometimes, they are both!

This Sunday, my pastor taught on “How to Get Along with People1.” He focused on three fundamental components needed to get along with others within our homes, workplaces, and even long distance: Respect, Humility, and Communication.

This three components are not mutually exclusive. You cannot have respect without authentic humility; you cannot have open communication without respect; and humility is required for true communication! As I processed the teaching and Scriptures2 we focused on, I was challenged to examine various relationships and to be purposeful about making some adjustments! Here are a few of the thoughts that rose in my spirit…

Relationship is the heartbeat of the Father, not just our relationship with Him, but also our relationships with others.

I find that I’m not that different than most Americans, when we communicate with others, we are comfortable declaring our thoughts and opinions to all who will listen. But the minute that others express differing opinions, we lift invisible fingers to plug our ears. How we handle this common dilemma varies depending on our level of respect and humility.

As believers, we are more prone to err in the area of humility. Pastor Eric outlined three components of humility: quietness, speaking the truth in love, and strength demonstrated through patience. I’d like to add two more components of humility: being willing to admit when we are wrong and maintaining a teachable heart. Because we have the mind of Christ, our tendency is to believe that our thinking is correct… correct in spiritual matters, personal matters, financial matters, and political matters. But humility will help us remember that perfect revelation and understanding is not available this side of Heaven. We are learning, growing, applying, and maturing each and every day, if we maintain a teachable heart!

If you are struggling in personal or professional relationships, please take some time to listen to Pastor Eric Lehmann’s teaching. I know it will encourage (and challenge) you!

Live Loved and Teachable,

1How To Get Along with People by Pastor Eric Lehmann of Freedom Church, Wesley Chapel

2Scripture references: Ephesians 5:21, Romans 13:1, Matthew 7:1-2, Romans 14:13, Luke 6:27,31, Mark 12:31, I Thessalonians 4:11-12, Ephesians 4:15, I Corinthians 13:4, James 1:19-20, Proverbs 15:1, 16:15, Romans 12:10, Philippians 4:13, I Corinthians 2:16

To the Point Tuesday: Pray for Protection!

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This month, the Lord has protected loved ones from not one, but two, falling branches that could have potentially killed them. Not only that, but He protected us from a potential house fire resulting from a clogged dryer vent. How many other things has the Lord protected us from this week of which we are not even aware?

Psalm 91 tells us that God has given His angels charge over us. Isaiah 54:17 tells us that no weapon formed against us will prosper. Daily, Andy and I purposefully use our authority in the spirit realm to declare protection in the name of Jesus and to release protecting and warring angels to surround our family, church family, schools, and friends.

Consider this: The tax refund you expect drops into your savings account. That provision is of no benefit to you unless you decide to appropriate it by making a purchase or paying a bill.  Jesus shed His blood on our behalf to provide forgiveness, healing, and protection (that’s provision). It’s our responsibility to tap into His provision (that’s appropriation)! Make no mistake, there is an evil plan at work against you and me. John 10 clearly states that Satan has a goal to kill us, steal from us, and completely destroy us! BUT JESUS! 

Our position in Christ provides us authority (read Ephesians 1) in the spirit realm. We must appropriate or apply that authority in our lives daily. Will bad things still happen? Well… do we still live in a fallen world? Of course. (Matthew 5:45 tells us that it rains on the righteous and unrighteous.) However, we can rest in the knowledge that when we come boldly before His throne, request His protection, and release His angels, He will protect us from known and unknown dangers and be with us when the hard things do come into our lives. He is faithful!

Need some encouragement to speak it out? Listen to this song: Champion by Dante Bowe

Live Loved,