Category Archives: Relationships

Talk Less, Smile More

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Have you ever felt “spanked” by the words you’ve read? That’s the way I felt today as I was reading an advance copy of Deanna Doss Shrodes’ upcoming book, “Uncommon Answers: Partnering with the Holy Spirit to Receive Extraordinarily More.”

Shrodes includes a chapter called “Uncommon Listening” about the power and blessing of listening, especially to our Heavenly Father! As I read about our often-lopsided communication with the Lord, I began to consider the amount of time I talk compared to the amount of time I listen… it’s often lopsided and not just in prayer. In all fairness, I am a teacher, but that doesn’t allow me to abdicate from the very important role of listening more than I talk.

As I spent the afternoon pondering and listening to the Lord’s input, my mind filled with a rapid-fire list of verses to consider:

Proverbs 10:19 “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” NIV

James 1:19b “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…” NKJV

Matthew 12:35-37 “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. 36 But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” NIV

Note the term “empty” in Matthew 12:36. Oxford defines empty as containing nothing, lacking meaning, without sincerity. It offers the synonyms: worthless, useless, and vain. It makes me think of the modern term “empty calories” referring to foods that do not strengthen you or provide nourishment but instead, they take up room in your stomach that’s needed for life-sustaining foods.  

In the same way, our words can be devoid of nourishment. Take a minute and think about the myriad of comments we may make throughout a day that are responses to people or situations (usually annoying ones) that do not bring about encouragement, growth, or change. These may be complaints, sarcastic remarks, or criticisms that may or may not be heard by the person it is directed towards. Maybe our comments are not snide remarks or gossip, maybe they are simply unnecessary comments referring to someone’s quirkiness, something distasteful, or an opinion on someone’s lifestyle. If the comment is heard, more times than not, it won’t inspire change but rather hurt or anger. Regardless, if the words aren’t beneficial, then they are empty.

Other examples of empty words may be found in silly arguments, unsolicited opinions, judgmental remarks, and pointless comments. I find myself making conversation when it’s not necessarily needed or welcome. I’ve offered opinions that were not unkind but also not requested. Times like this are when I need to remember Solomon’s advice that “overtalk shows you up as a fool” and I sure don’t want to be placed in that category (Ecclesiastes 5:3)! Not only that, but I’ve found that sometimes making an innocent comment opens the door for someone to respond in a snide or unkind way. Guarding my words will reduce those opportunities.

As I meditate on these truths, I hear my Father’s loving correction. He designed me to speak nourishing, beneficial words that build up! I’m made with His character and in His image, so my words should be a reflection of His heart! My speech, all believers’ speech, should be filled with grace and seasoned with salt; salt preserves and brings flavor! (Colossians 4:6). Ephesians 4:29 is very clear, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (emphasis mine). This is not a suggestion, but a command!

I’ve learned that there is blessing in obedience. When my Daddy speaks to me, I want to listen and obey. Moving forward, this means purposing to listen more than I talk and choosing to avoid empty comments, conversation, and opinions. It also means being more purposeful to build others up, speak life consistently, and declare good things for those in my realm of influence. I’m up for the challenge! How about you?

Live loved!

What Type of Culture are You Facilitating?

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Culture… It can be defined as the customs, beliefs, values, and celebrations of a particular group of people. While we typically associate culture with a country’s people group, there is a myriad of other cultures.

Family cultures vary in birthday celebrations, entertainment choices, discipline styles, faith commitments, and vacation destinations.  Churches, restaurants, towns, and workplaces also have their own versions of culture.

Whether you are a stay-at-home parent, a teacher, a waiter, a welder, a consumer, or a football fan, you are contributing to some culture, most likely several cultures! So, what are you adding to the cultures in your realm of influence as you go through your day?

I ask this because cultural contributions are a topic close to my heart. Each part of our day gives us an opportunity to choose between positive and negative contributions. As we drive to work each morning, we can positively or negatively impact the traffic culture. (Let that sink in… is your horn a tool or a tactic? Do you wave someone on or wag a finger at them?)

In the busy coffee shop, we can stir up discontent or exemplify patience. Yes, even that seemingly small choice will make a difference in the atmosphere while we wait. Cultural contributions are evident in our facial expressions, our words, our actions, and our attitudes. (When stressful moments come, what we carry in our heart is what comes pouring out… but that’s a topic for another blog!)

While your daily contributions do impact the culture around you, facilitating a culture takes our responsibility further. If you’ve read this far, don’t stop now! 😊 Think of the top 2 or 3 places you spend most of your time. These are the places where you have a role in culture facilitation.

I’ve worked jobs that felt like I was working with family. There was laughter, encouragement, and a boatload of inside jokes. I’ve also worked at jobs that felt like eggshells were scattered all over the floor and stepping on even one would lead to disaster. You had to be careful of what you said, who you said it to, and what tone you used. Similar contrasts can be seen in every culture that we engage in. A negative culture will multiply stress, decrease fulfillment, and increase a sense of aloneness.

My current school has been my work home for over 14 years. We’ve had our ups and downs and the student population we serve comes with more challenges than many. And yet, I have no desire to go to a more affluent school, higher paying district, or one with more accolades. Why? Because I am part of a staff that has worked to develop and maintain a positive culture even through administration changes. Is everyone 100% all in? No… rarely does that happen. Is everyone trustworthy or positive or culture-focused? Nope! BUT, the majority–from admin to cafeteria staff to custodians to teachers–are committed to giving their best day to day. And… don’t miss this… there is an attitude of togetherness, support, and “I’ve got your back” that sets our school culture up for continued success even when the changes, the data, the challenges, can feel smothering and disheartening. This positive culture was not built by one, but by many. It didn’t happen overnight, it happened when individuals chose to show up, give their best, and seek the good of the whole consistently.

Is this type of work or school culture feel foreign or unattainable to you? Do you want to help facilitate a positive culture but you’re thinking: “You have NO idea what my workplace, home, or school is like!” Let me encourage you… YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE! Maybe the macro level is out of your realm of influence, but the micro level is not! You can facilitate a positive culture in your home, your office, your workshop, your classroom, your worship center, or on your team!

The starting point is this: Treat others the way you’d like to be treated (not the way you’ve been treated)!1

How did Cindy Lou Who get through to the Grinch? By showing kindness that he did not expect or deserve!2

In addition to kindness in the face of crudeness, consider these commitments needed to facilitate a positive culture:

  • Be humble-We all make mistakes, don’t be afraid to own up to yours!
  • Be generous-It will come back to you!
  • Be honest-Lies and half-truths will eventually bite you in the behind and ruin your reputation!
  • Be respectful-The CEO and the janitor deserve the same level of respect, manners are important!
  • Be nonjudgmental-Rarely do we know what others are walking through!
  • Be cautious with your words-Talking about others negatively reflects more on you than on them!
  • Be encouraging-Celebrate the successes of others, big or small!
  • Be compassionate-Life can be challenging for all of us even on a good day!
  • Be teachable-No one knows it all or likes a know it all!
  • Be integrous-Doing the right thing will help you sleep well at night and make you the type of person that others trust and appreciate!

Be the change! Choose 1 thing you can do today or tomorrow that will bring a positive vibe to your realm of influence. You won’t regret stepping up your game when it comes to facilitating a positive culture at home, school, work, or on the field. When you lay the groundwork, others will join you. You truly can make a difference!

My students say a chant with me every day. It starts with: “I am one of a kind! I bring something to this world that no one else can.” We declare some other things over ourselves and then end the chant like this: “I am a world changer!” So are you!

You are amazing!

1Jesus (Luke 6:31)

2The Grinch Who Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss

Don’t Shoot the Messenger…

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“Do you have a favorite story about Jesus?” This was the question that I was asked at a Christmas gathering. Our ice breaker activity was to write down a question that would help us get to know each other better. Then we circulated as Christmas Carols played and stopped to chat when the music stopped. In this round, I connected with my daughter. When she posed this question, my immediate response was, “The woman at the well!” And her quick reply was, “Me too!”

Why this story? So many reasons! Jesus brought this woman hope when she was convinced her life was hopeless!1 He valued her despite being one of the most despised people of her time… a Samaritan woman who was socially shunned. He talked to her as an equal and revealed Himself to her as the Messiah. It was through her testimony that many in her village believed in Jesus! Apparently, the girl could preach!

One of my other favorite passages is when Jesus dispatched the first preacher to declare His resurrection and plans!2 To whom did Jesus give this honor and responsibility? Mary Magdalene! She was tasked with sharing the gospel of Jesus’ resurrection to the men huddled together in fear and disappointment.

Don’t miss this! Jesus didn’t just value women because they are precious daughters. He valued them as carriers of His Truth! And note that He doesn’t put limitations on their audience! So why is it that many pastors, churches, and even denominations refuse to acknowledge women as viable carriers of the gospel in and out of the church walls?

Oh yes… Paul’s statements about women in the church… they are indeed hard to reconcile with the example that Jesus showed us. I find it surprising that so many people will take Paul’s comments at face value (without researching the recipients of his letters, the context of them, or the culture to which he was responding to). In fact, many are so determined to latch onto those statements that they disregard Jesus’ example of including women in His teaching and ministry. Consider also that there are passages in the Word of God that are directly attributed to women.3 The New Testament also highlights several women as being an integral part of the spreading of the gospel. (I’d dare say that they weren’t just relegated to children’s church, as important as that is!)

There are some wonderful resources available to help you (or anyone) understand Paul’s statements regarding women in leadership. I could give a basic rundown here, but then I would be cheating you of the opportunity to dig into the historical and cultural aspects of the three cities that Paul was addressing in his letters. It was in doing my own research and reading that I came to understand that Paul was not devaluing women in leadership but was rather dealing with issues that were prevalent in cities that were dedicated to goddesses. (There… I gave you a teaser about what you’ll find if you want to research!)

I think the greatest travesty in rejecting women as preachers and teachers of the Word is that half of God’s revelation of Himself is included in that rejection. Consider Genesis 1:27-28: “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth” NKJV. Note that God didn’t only reveal His nature in man, but also in woman.

Don’t get me wrong… this is not about equal rights, men and women are the same, yada, yada, yada. In fact, it’s the opposite! Men and women were not created the same even though we are both a reflection of God’s image. Men and women have different DNA, different strengths (both physically and emotionally), different tendencies, different weaknesses, different perspectives, and different ways they express their emotions. Yet, both genders equally reflect the beauty of God’s character, creativity, and ability to reason.

God reveals His nature to us through both the men AND the women that we do life with, in the church walls and outside of it. We need to value the influence of both godly men and godly women and allow them to deepen our understanding and appreciation of our Awesome Father!

God has used and will continue to use women to bring spiritual truths, encouragement, prophesy, and wholeness to those who are hungry for it.The same Holy Spirit resides in every Jesus follower regardless of age, gender, or race! That should encourage you!
Don’t shoot the messenger just because they don’t look or sound like you think they should. Besides, Jesus started it!

Live Loved,

P.S.: If you are interested in resources to research, please message me your email!

1John 4, https://www.christianity.com/wiki/bible/significance-of-the-woman-at-the-well.html

2Matthew 28, John 20

3 A few examples: Exodus 15: The song of Miriam the prophetess, Judges 4: Deborah, Esther 4, Luke 1: The song of Mar

“The Missing Ones” Book Launch

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Dear Readers,

I am so very blessed and excited to announce that my first book has been published and is now available on Amazon! The Missing Ones: A Journey of Hope and Healing for Families of Prodigals is a faith based manual to provide help and encouragement for families dealing with hurt caused by:

  • abandonment
  • addiction
  • grief
  • loss
  • dysfunction
  • damaged relationships
  • estrangement
  • unfaithfulness
  • and more

The Lord stirred this work in me several years ago and I believe that the truths and tools He gave me in the process are needed by so many families! Each chapter includes Scripture-based truths as well as prayers over the reader, recommendations for application, and declarations the reader can make in faith. Would you join me in getting the word out to as many people as possible so that hurting hearts and families can find the words of encouragement and healing inside?

The Missing Ones can serve as a personal devotional, a resource for helping others, or a book study for life groups or Bible studies.

My goal is to also create an audio version for my prefer-not-to-read friends or those who use books as company during commutes. Please pray with me as I journey through that step.

If you have read the book and found it to be a blessing and encouragement, please leave me a review here in the comments. If you purchased on Amazon, I’d greatly appreciate your review there when done. (Any other reviews are welcome on Amazon; however, due to Amazon’s algorithms, if you are not a purchaser through Amazon, they automatically downgrade your review 🙁 ). I’d also appreciate if you’d share your thoughts on my book on your social media accounts including a link to it if possible.

One more thing… would you please pray with me? Pray that this book reaches the many hurting families around us. Pray that estranged relationships are healed. Pray that hope rises in the hearts of those who have been wounded. Pray that prodigals will find their way back into the arms of the Father who loves them deeply! Thank you!

Loving God and Loving others brings such blessing!

Living the Light,

To the Point Tuesday: Have You Noticed…?

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I am so thankful for the Word of God! How blessed we are to have His truths written for us. But I still think it would be neat to walk around with Jesus digesting His parables and asking Him questions. There are a few key phrases I want to pull out of His teachings. I know that we are heart-deep in Ephesians, but take a side trip with me to Matthew.

“Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit” (Matthew 7:17-18 NKJV).

“For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man” (Matthew 15:19-20 NKJV).

“…How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things” (Matthew 12:34-35 NKJV).

These are the verses that came to my mind as I meditated on Ephesians 5:17-6:9. Paul is addressing our relationships with others in the home, in the church, and in the work place.

So, I ask…. Have you noticed that what is in our hearts is what comes out? Good or bad, it comes out and splashes on those around us… our spouse, our parents, our children, our co-workers, and on other believers.

I’ve heard lots of sermons on this portion of Scripture… too many that skip the foundational Truths laid out in Chapters 1-4. When the Holy Spirit directed Paul to write Ephesians, the progression was deliberate! If we try to skip over who we are in Him and the power to live righteously, we will miss the foundational truths that enable us to live a life of love instead of a life of religiosity.

Our journey as believers is all about drawing close the Lover of our soul and the Keeper of our heart! We learn to look to Him for answers and follow the nudgings of the Holy Spirit. As our heart beat becomes set to the cadence of His heart, it is HIS goodness that flows out of us! That outflow will bless our spouse, our children, our parents, our co-workers, and other believers!

We are given foundational clues to set us on the path of relational right-living in 5:18-21:

  • Be filled with and led by the Holy Spirit
  • Speak to one another with words of truth, grace, and peace
  • Let your heart overflow with praise to the Lord
  • Be thankful in all things
  • Honor one another

I’ve noticed that if what starts to come out of my mouth isn’t reflective of the Father’s heart, it’s time for a heart-check! What works as a heart-check? Whispered prayers, time in the Word, singing to the radio, or even a nap, whatever works for you, be sure to reconnect your heart to the Father’s.

Proverbs 4:23 reminds us to guard our hearts, for they affect who we are.

Live Loved,

To the Point Tuesday: Are You Reflecting…?

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Ephesians 4 challenged us to take a hard look at our ourselves… are we making choices that demonstrate maturity in Christ. In Ephesians 5, Paul doesn’t hold back! He gives clear instruction to help us know HOW to demonstrate the maturity of the previous chapter.

And so I ask, Are you reflecting…?

The quick answer is, “Yes!” We are all reflecting something or someone. So, the better question is: What or whom are you (and I) reflecting?

We reflect the actions and beliefs of the things and people that we spend the most time focused on.

Let that sink in…

Who or what does your life revolve around? Politics? Social media? A hobby? An addiction? A person? A job? An idea? A dream? A disappointment?  Whatever dominates our thinking, our feelings, and our time will impact our life choices.

Ephesians 5:1 instructs: Imitate God as beloved children in everything you do… So simple and yet complex. It makes me think of a child following mom or dad around and mimicking the actions they see. To imitate someone well, you need to watch and learn. To imitate God, we will need to spend a lot of time with Him and focus our attention on Him and what He values.

Paul lets us know what not to imitate too… he specifically speaks to areas that we are prone to struggle with: passion, pleasure, power, and people. If you feel inclined, you can write down the list of behaviors addressed in Ephesians 5 and pin it on your fridge as a reminder of what not to do.

But, might I suggest a better strategy? Instead of focusing on the edge of the cliff… you know, the area just before the “sin drop-off”… we can focus on moving closer to our Daddy King! The closer we draw to Him, the more we learn of His ways, and the deeper we connect to His heart, the farther we will move away from the “danger zone” of sinful ways.

Of course, we all miss the mark at times. But Paul is addressing a lifestyle of sin that will prevent us from having any inheritance in the Kingdom of God (verse 5)! I sure don’t want any part of that! I want to walk as one who is wise, not wasting time, but rather living in the light with Him! When we live that way, we will see our desires align themselves with the Father’s heart. Our relationships will reflect His ways. Our priorities will fall in place with His!

Are you reflecting your Heavenly Dad?

There’s so much more in this chapter, go check it out!

Live Loved,

To the Point Tuesday: Are You Really…. ?

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Our delve into Ephesians has already challenged us:

  • to realize that we are chosen by the Father as beloved children!
  • to understand that when we acknowledge His plan for our lives, we become citizens of His Kingdom!
  • to grow in our relationship with Him to better understand that He loves us deeply and unconditionally!

How amazing are these Truths!?! They are a necessary foundation to what the Holy Spirit addresses through Paul in Ephesians 4. This leads me to the question: Are you really… ?

Are you really living a life worthy of the calling you’ve received?

“I plead with you to walk holy, in a way that is suitable to your high rank, given to you in your divine calling” (Ephesians 4:2 TPT).  In other words, are you living your life in a way that clearly indicates who you are (a follower of Jesus) and Whose you are (a child of the King of kings)?

This verse makes me think of the movie Princess Diaries1 in which a girl-next-door finds out she was actually born a princess. The story line follows her as she abandons her commoner mentality in favor of royal thinking and behavior. Ultimately, she learns to walk in the “royal calling” she has inherited while still maintaining her uniqueness and personality.

As followers of Jesus this is what we must do! We need to “grow up” in the faith, walking as royalty with a divine calling, living out the love of Jesus in our every day lives. Notice that Paul focuses more on character–be humble, gentle, patient, and loving with one another– than on doctrine here. Why do you think that is? It’s not that understanding the truth of God’s Word isn’t important; but rather that our character (and maturity) is foundational in how we live out our divine calling!

The antithesis of being mature can be inferred throughout Ephesians 4: being proud, impatient, dishonest, opinionated, unbending, apathetic, divisive, greedy, self-righteous, and a careless talker. Oh my!

Wait, by accepting the offer to become royalty (children of the King) we are expected to act like royalty?

Absolutely! You and I are royalty! More than that, we are ambassadors, carrying the Kingdom of Heaven inside of us. Ambassadors officially represent the character, priorities, and opinions of our King (truly dying to ourselves3). The only way we can represent Him well is to spend time with Him and His Word, growing in maturity as followers of Jesus.

I appreciate that Paul reminds us that we are not alone in our journey to mature! We are recipients of supernatural grace in Jesus and part of the body of Christ designed with giftings to build one another up in unity and faith! He goes on to outline what being a mature believer looks like in verses 15-32. Take some time to dig in and hash it out. Be willing to look harder at yourself (the beam in your own eye) rather than looking at the faults (or specks in the eyes) of others (Matthew 7:3). Hint: that is one mark of maturity!

One resource that I’ve used to build my understanding of Ephesians 4 is a teaching by Jennifer Toledo called Mature.2 Grab a notebook, a pen, and a humble heart and I know you’ll glean challenging truths that will take you deeper in your royal walk with the King.

So, again I ask, “Are you… am I… really living a life that represents our high rank and divine calling?” Let’s be willing to grow together in maturity so that we can be trustworthy, anointed, loving ambassadors for the Kingdom of God!

Live Loved,

1Princess Diaries: https://youtu.be/G3jzLo31DTk

2Toledo, Jennifer. 2021. “Mature” Expression 54 Church. https://youtu.be/GTOutgUX34s

3Luke 9:23, Galatians 2:20, 5:24

To The Point Tuesday: Can’t We All Just Get Along?

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Relationships… they can be a tremendous blessing or a massive challenge. Sometimes, they are both!

This Sunday, my pastor taught on “How to Get Along with People1.” He focused on three fundamental components needed to get along with others within our homes, workplaces, and even long distance: Respect, Humility, and Communication.

This three components are not mutually exclusive. You cannot have respect without authentic humility; you cannot have open communication without respect; and humility is required for true communication! As I processed the teaching and Scriptures2 we focused on, I was challenged to examine various relationships and to be purposeful about making some adjustments! Here are a few of the thoughts that rose in my spirit…

Relationship is the heartbeat of the Father, not just our relationship with Him, but also our relationships with others.

I find that I’m not that different than most Americans, when we communicate with others, we are comfortable declaring our thoughts and opinions to all who will listen. But the minute that others express differing opinions, we lift invisible fingers to plug our ears. How we handle this common dilemma varies depending on our level of respect and humility.

As believers, we are more prone to err in the area of humility. Pastor Eric outlined three components of humility: quietness, speaking the truth in love, and strength demonstrated through patience. I’d like to add two more components of humility: being willing to admit when we are wrong and maintaining a teachable heart. Because we have the mind of Christ, our tendency is to believe that our thinking is correct… correct in spiritual matters, personal matters, financial matters, and political matters. But humility will help us remember that perfect revelation and understanding is not available this side of Heaven. We are learning, growing, applying, and maturing each and every day, if we maintain a teachable heart!

If you are struggling in personal or professional relationships, please take some time to listen to Pastor Eric Lehmann’s teaching. I know it will encourage (and challenge) you!

Live Loved and Teachable,

1How To Get Along with People by Pastor Eric Lehmann of Freedom Church, Wesley Chapel

2Scripture references: Ephesians 5:21, Romans 13:1, Matthew 7:1-2, Romans 14:13, Luke 6:27,31, Mark 12:31, I Thessalonians 4:11-12, Ephesians 4:15, I Corinthians 13:4, James 1:19-20, Proverbs 15:1, 16:15, Romans 12:10, Philippians 4:13, I Corinthians 2:16

Power & Love-A Balancing Act

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“Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic.  Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.”  Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

This quote packs a serious punch! One right to the gut and one that challenges us as believers. Meditate on the truth that MLK Jr. shares… it reflects the heart of the Father. Micah 6:8 states: “He {God} has shown you, O mortal {you and me}, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Jesus seconds this expectation when He declares His passionate expectation: Love the Lord with all of our being AND love others as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39).

The POWER: We are empowered by the Holy Spirit to be Truth carriers, wonder-workers, agents of justice, and disciple-makers.

The LOVE: It’s love that paves the way for His Truth and His power to effectively impact our realm of influence! When His heart beats in us, we reflect His attitude, His motives, and His compassionate mercy to those around us.

The bottom line: We have no authority in situations where we refuse to demonstrate love (I Corinthians 13). But, love empowered by truth produces healing and growth!

Live Loved,

Note: This article was originally published here on August 31, 2021

Unoffendable!

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My gym workouts are made bearable by three things: I know I need them, I go with my handsome hubby, and I watch podcasts that feed my spirit!

Today’s teaching came with a challenge*:

“Become unoffendable!”1 

Wow… Think about that for a bit.  I know it made me pause and process.

Our current American culture seems to be looking for offense around every rock and tree.  People of all ages and socioeconomic levels are embracing the tendency to be offended by any opinion that differs than their own.

As believers, we should be different, right?

Sadly, Christians have a well-deserved reputation of being easily offended.  We (and I use that word broadly) may find offense in how people dress, their political views, their colorful vocabulary, their opinions, and so on.

Conversely, Jesus was not offended… not by the poor, or by the demon-possessed, or by the coarse laborers, or by those caught in sin.  In fact, Jesus was not even offended by the doubters or the soldiers that nailed Him to the cross.

Jesus was and is the epitome of “Unoffendable!”

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with a new friend and felt a real connection to them?  They like the same music as you, share the same tastes in food, and even have similar views on raising kids.  You think, “Wow, this is a great person. I hope we can hang out again!”  But then, a subject comes up that throws a wrench in that plan… a strong moral opinion, an opposing political view, a different stand on social topic, etc. and you emotionally slam on the brakes.  “Woah, I guess we are not as in sync a I imagined! I can’t believe they think that way.”  Thus begins an emotional withdrawal process because they are not as like us as we originally thought.

When we encounter people like ourselves, we feel validated.  Our human tendencies are to gravitate towards people who are similar to us.  We like when we see ourselves reflected in others!  However, we give ourselves permission to dislike or disassociate ourselves from people who are different than us.  We may even allow ourselves to dishonor people who do not share our beliefs or our way of life.  This is not the example that Jesus set for you and I.

{Caveat: There’s a difference between honoring people and allowing people authority in our lives.  It is not wise or healthy to allow just anyone the opportunity to speak into our lives.  However, we should honor all people as valuable.}

Consider Philippians 2:3-5 in the Passion Translation:

3 Be free from pride-filled opinions, for they will only harm your cherished unity. Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves. 4 Abandon every display of selfishness. Possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interests. 5 And consider the example that Jesus, the Anointed One, has set before us. Let his mindset become your motivation.

How easy it is for us, believers or not, to major on the minors!  As a friend recently said, “We tend to elevate the ways we are different instead of celebrating the ways we are the same.”2   Not only should we celebrate ways that we are the same, but we should choose to honor others in spite of or even because of our differences.  We don’t have to agree with others to appreciate who they are as a person. The beauty of diversity is the richness it brings to our sometimes ethnocentric lives.

WWJD is more than a slogan!  It is a reminder to us to think like Jesus thinks!  We as believers have the mind of Christ (I Corinthians 2:16) and the power of the Holy Spirit vibrating in us!  When we encounter people who believe differently than us, spout contrary opinions, or embrace a lifestyle contrary to our way of thinking, we can still choose to honor them and treat them with the love that the Heavenly Father carries in His heart for them.  We can choose to be unoffendable!

I’m convicted! I’m challenged!  How about you?

Live Loved,

1Listen to Danny Silk’s complete teaching on being unoffendable here.

2James Dodzweit teaches on Church Unity here.

*Originally published by DiscoveringJoy.net on June 18th, 2018