Category Archives: Relationships

Pathways to Joy: Authentic Relationship

Posted on by
4

I’ve stated from the get-go of this series that joy is an inside job. People and circumstances can make us happy… temporarily. But we cannot rely on people and circumstances to keep us happy for the long haul.

And yet, healthy, authentic relationships are definitely a source of joy!

What is a healthy, authentic relationship? One way to determine what is healthy and authentic is to think about what it is not. Here are some symptoms of unhealthy relationships:

  • Tiptoeing on eggshells: You are always worried about what you say and do around this person because they are easily offended or upset.
  • High maintenance: This relationship is characterized by one person always NEEDING something or depending on the other to make them happy.
  • Volatile and/or abusive: One person is tightly wound feeling their emotions intensely and struggling to manage the extremes.
  • Co-dependent: Unhealthy, destructive habits or addictions are excused and rationalized in this friendship.
  • Fluctuating friend: This person is your friend on some days and not on others. You may only hear from them when they can benefit from you or your skills.
  • Two faced: Can we call this person a friend really? They talk about you to others and others to you.
  • Ear-tickler: This friendship is characterized by friends that only say what the other wants to hear or thinks they need to hear, whether it’s the truth or not.
  • Discontented: This relationship includes a friend who is just not happy, not with life, not with you. They want you to change, but no matter what you do, it’s never enough.
  • Narcissistic: This person is only a friend to themselves. There really is no one else of value in their world; life is all about them, their opinions, their stories, their ideas.

I’m sure you can think of a few other less-than-desirable-friend traits. There’s a very good chance that some of these descriptions made you think of some people in your life. Me too… I’m not saying cut them off, though you may need to distance yourself to find some health and joy in your life. It’s important to understand the value of boundaries in every relationship, but especially in ones that are not fulfilling. There’s a reason that some relationships are considered toxic; like a poison, they destroy parts of your heart and wellbeing. Those relationships will feel empty and leave you hungering for deeper more fulfilling relationships.

So, what IS a healthy, authentic relationship? One that reflects these traits:

  • Encouraging and uplifting
  • Honest, even when it hurts
  • Fulfilling for both friends
  • Open to constructive criticism
  • Life-giving instead of draining
  • Puts the needs of the other above their own
  • Equal give and take on multiple levels (conversation, paying for coffee, sharing skillsets)
  • Relationship trumps being right: Agree to disagree respectfully
  • Spiritually and mentally stimulating

Those types of friends are more challenging to find, but they’re out there! Keep looking! On the journey to establish these life-giving relationships, you will take some detours and hit a few potholes, but when you find them, you will know blessing!

Participating in mutually healthy relationships and experiencing the blessing of authenticity is a pathway to joy! You get to be the real you and loved for it! Your friend gets to be real too and you love them for it! You are able to share your thoughts, ideas, opinions, and dreams in a safe place and so does your cohort! When you start to veer of the path in one way or another, your friend gently steers you right and you do the same with their best interests in mind.


These friendships are truly an incredible source of joy!

Here are some words of wisdom on friends:
“The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Proverbs 12:26

“A man who has friends must himself be friendly” Proverbs 18:24a

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Proverbs 27:6

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

“Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits.'” I Corinthians 15:33

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion…. If one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him.” Ecclesiastes 4:9,10,12a

My prayer for you today is that you already have some quality relationships in your life. Grow them! Invest in them! However, if you are lacking the healthy, authentic relationships described above, I pray that you will ask the Lord to lead you to people who will bring life to you and vice versa.

Note: Healthy relationships are often hard to establish if you are functioning out of woundedness. When we’ve experienced pain, betrayal, or warped friendships, we tend to put up walls to protect our hearts. The result is that we isolate ourselves in an effort to avoid pain. Though understandable, this is unhealthy and will make establishing healthy relationships difficult.  If you find yourself in this place, I encourage you to do two things: Seek counseling that promotes healing AND think of one trustworthy person in your life and purposely be the kind of friend you need. Both of these actions will lay a foundation for authentic, healthy friendships that will be a source of joy!

Live Loved,

#Wipeouthate

Posted on by
1

You don’t need to look far to see it. It’s running rampant on the internet… Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, in news articles, and most definitely in the comment section off all of the above. Hate, anger, disrespect, name-calling, accusations, insults, character defamation, sarcasm, hate. I think if people could snarl and spit nails over social media, we’d see that too!

Internet anonymity seems to bring out the inner hulk in too many of us!

It’s not okay! It is one thing to have strong feelings and opinions, it’s another thing to attack people because their beliefs differ from ours. It’s not okay to call people names because they disagree with you and me. It’s not okay, to defame their intelligence because they don’t see things our way. It’s not okay to “scream” insults with our keyboards while telling our children to “sprinkle kindness like confetti” and “don’t be a bully.”

The more comfortable that people (including us) become with verbally destroying one another on social media, the more readily it will manifest in person! Think about it, the rioters who are looting and destroying… Do you think this is their first go-around with attacking others? I’m not going out on a limb to say, “No way!” They’ve done it online already if not in person, but they now feel that world events make it socially acceptable to take it to another level regardless of the consequences.

How do we manage to ask a whole nation of social media experts to hold up, think carefully, choose a better pathway? I wish I knew. But we have to start somewhere.

Somewhere is here: #wipeouthate Wednesday.

#Wipeouthate Wednesdays is a chance for us to remember that we are more alike than different! I can wax eloquent here in listing the gazillion ways we are alike! But for brevity, here are some biggies:

  • We love
  • We want to be loved
  • We feel pain
  • We hurt others
  • We seek happiness
  • We work to achieve goals
  • We want freedom
  • We appreciate respect
  • We have values and beliefs
  • We have melanin in our skin, hair, and eyes
  • We prefer health over sickness
  • We prefer life over death
  • We love

#Wipeouthate Wednesdays for Social Media means:
NO to: political posts, hot topic or current debate posts, conspiracy posts, accusation posts, or even face mask posts! (No rude comments either.)
YES to: encouraging words, kind thoughts, celebrations, positive artistic expression, hopeful ideas, and cute pet pictures! (Lots of positive comments too!)

Think about it… choosing to set aside the things that divide us and focus on the things that unite us??? That’s like a gooey, warm stream of salted caramel sauce pouring over vanilla bean ice cream! Let’s do this!

Live Loved!

Please share on social media!

Will the Real Jesus, Please Stand Up?

Posted on by
Reply

When I take the time to peruse social media and headlines, I find myself going through a variety of facial expressions… sadness, chuckles, surprise, interest, and eyerolls. This week, the story that garnered the biggest eye roll ever was the one about tearing down “racist statues of white Jesus.” Now, I get that most representations of Jesus we see are not truly reflective of what Jesus looked like as a Judean man. Is that a result of racism? Ummm, no. It’s because people tend to create mental, and therefore physical, depictions from their own frame of reference… all people, not just white. 

Visualization 101… Let me demonstrate. Picture this scene in your mind… A child rode a bicycle down the street and stopped at the park to play with a friend. After an hour, the friends parted and the child returned home. 

Did you picture it? Now, think about your mental picture. You most likely pictured a bicycle that looks like one you have ridden, possibly in your favorite color. The child would’ve been a boy or girl who looks like you or one you know well.  The street would’ve been familiar to you too. What did the kids play? Was it soccer, basketball, or on the swings? Probably what you would have played in a park! Your mental picture might have included a high-five goodbye or a cellphone check-in depending on your experiences. You and I create mental depictions of events based on our own frame of reference.

History 101… America was settled by the Europeans.  Europeans for centuries have depicted Jesus to look like themselves and therefore, each country that they colonized reflected those depictions.  Colonization is not a new concept.  When Rome was a world dominating power, they also sent leaders and troops to established colonies that reflected Roman culture.  It’s what conquering countries did historically. 

Jesus 101… Will the real Jesus, please stand up!  What did Jesus really look like? Since Jesus was Judean born, He most likely had brown skin and brown eyes. His muscle structure would have reflected His work as a carpenter.  Like men of His day, He probably sported facial hair and a head full of curly hair that rested on His collar.1 

The writers of the New Testament didn’t take the time to describe Jesus’ physical attributes to us. In the overall scheme of things, did it really matter? No. Why? Because the writers were much more focused on what Jesus’ character “looked like.” Jesus came to earth equally God and human so that He could bring Salvation to ALL people! His interactions with others reflected the character of God.  Jesus’ life is an incredible example of someone who ministered cross-culturally, across gender lines, to all age groups, disregarding social expectations, ignoring political agendas, and interacting with all socio-economic groups!

Take a gander* for yourself at what the real Jesus “looked like:”

  • Jesus ignored custom by teaching women (custom stated that women shouldn’t be taught because they were untrustworthy and worthless). (Luke 10, John 6 are two examples)
  • Even though Romans ruled over and oppressed the Jews, Jesus healed the daughter of a Roman Ruler, the servant of Roman Centurion, and the son of a royal official. (Matt 9, Matt 8, John 4 respectively)
  • Jesus ministered to the untouchables. He was not afraid to talk to AND even touch those who were considered unclean. (Matt 8-man with leprosy, Matt 9-the bleeding woman)
  • Contrary to the religious mindset, Jesus spent time with the “sinners” of His day which included tax collectors who cheated the people in the name of the government. He declared the criminal on the cross as welcome in Paradise and loved Judas for three years as part of His inner circle in spite of the knowledge that Judas would betray Him. (Matthew 9, Luke 19)
  • Jesus cared about rich (Nicodemus), the working class (the disciples and the crowds of people who followed Him), and the poor.
  • Without thought to gender, age, or economic status, Jesus healed the disadvantaged and hurting whether deaf, dumb, crippled, blind, or demon possessed.
  • Jesus crossed racial barriers and gender barriers when He spoke to the Greek woman in Mark 15 and the Samaritan woman and her town in John 4.
  • When the disciples considered children a nuisance, Jesus welcomed the messy neighborhood kids, hugged them and blessed them! (Mark 10)
  • Jesus told His disciples to preach the Gospel (good news) to Gentiles and Samaritans in Matthew 10.  He told you and I that the good news of the Kingdom of God was to be preached to all nations! Mark 3:10, Matt. 28:19-20)

Call it cliché, but when I listen to the political, social, and relational rhetoric splashing across social media, my question is WWJD? What Would Jesus Do if faced with today’s issues? I can tell you what He would not do… He would not cheer as people violently hurt and destroy; He would not hashtag and holler; He would not flood social media with conspiracy theories; He would not callously dismiss those who disagreed with His point of view. On the contrary, He would be in the trenches helping those in need, holding the hurting, weeping with those who weep, and being an agent of healing wherever He went. How do I know? It’s not hard to figure out if you look at His MO… He spent time with those who disagreed with Him. He listened and discussed ideas. He challenged those who thought they represented truth, but only represented their version of it. He loved, healed, and honored regardless of race, gender, social standing, or political alliance. 

Do you consider yourself a follower of Jesus like I do? Is the real Jesus evident in our lives? His instructions for us are the same as they were when He walked on the earth: Be salt, be light, let your good deeds bring glory to the Father, go and sin no more, love your enemies, give to those in need, do not worry, pray, do to others what you want them to do to you (Matthew 5-7).  All of these are fabulous concrete ways to look like the real Jesus and impact our world!

But… let’s not forget the most important expectation laid out for us: love God first and then love people… all people (Matt. 22:35-39).  What would Jesus do today? He would love people so well, that they would hunger for the Truth reflected in His eyes!  Consider this, when we devalue others (even in our minds) because of their political views, financial status, age, gender, race, or life choices, we lose authority and opportunity to speak into their lives. What does loving God look like? Obedience. What does loving people look like? Kindness, forgiveness, grace, patience, humility, protection, and selflessness. (I Corinthians 13:4-7). If we attempt to speak truth without God’s type of love, we are simply a noise maker adding to the chaos (I Corinthians 13:1). However, when we love others well, we will find an open door to speak life and truth because our actions demonstrate compassion and authenticity.

I encourage you… ask yourself what I am asking myself.  Are my interactions with others, personally or virtually, adding to the chaos and division? Or are they making others feel valued in a way that opens the door for healthy interaction and demonstration of the truth of God’s love. Is the real Jesus standing up in us? His love is the difference between being a noise-maker and a world-changer!

Dear Lord, May we be accurate representations of your love in our homes, in our neighborhoods, in our work places, and online! Help us to value others the way You do! Remind us to weep with those who weep and be agents of healing to this world. May our deeds bring glory to You! We can’t do it on our own, help us, Jesus! Amen!

Live Loved, Be Love,

1British anatomical artist, Richard Neave’s, rendering of men during Jesus’ time (left & middle).

*This list is certainly not all inclusive. The gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, are filled with evidence of Jesus’ love for everyone.  He even spoke truth to the religious people who were determined that He was sent by satan. It’s this group of hypocritical people that He challenged repeatedly because they perpetuated a dead form of “worship” and hindered people from encountering the true God.

Pathways to Joy: Identifying Joy

Posted on by
2

joy: /joi/ noun meaning a sense of well-being or contentment, a source of delight

Have you ever wondered about the difference between joy and happiness? If so, you are not alone! A perusal of dictionary definitions shows that wordsmiths are confused as well. As a lover of name meanings, you can imagine that I have taken some time to explore my life-long label of joy!

Happiness is not the equivalent of joy. In fact, you can be very happy but lack joy and you can have joy and not feel happy! Trust me… I’ll explain, it’s more than just semantics!

Happiness is dependent on your circumstances, what is happening around you and to you. When you receive a gift you wanted, or your child earns a high grade, or your boss gives you a promotion… you feel happy! That happiness will last as long as your circumstances allow it. Happiness can be stolen by a turn of events: that gift you wanted is broken, your child drops out of school, the new promotion is in another state. Often, we fall into the trap of seeking out people, objects, and experiences that will make us happy… and they often do! But happiness is temporary, leaving us hungry for the next thing to make us feel good again.

The search for joy disguised as happiness has led to failed marriages, strangling debt, overindulgence, and addiction. When we realize that what we thought would bring us joy only brings temporary happiness, we abandon the current process emotionally (mentally checking out of the relationship), physically (leaving the situation), or spiritually (giving up on a faith process).

Conversely, joy is independent of your circumstances. It is a sense of well-being and peace that comes from within. Joy is an underlying sense that no matter what, we will be okay, more than that, we will thrive! Simply put, joy is an inside job! Don’t get me wrong, life throws some serious curve balls! There will be times that you don’t FEEL the joy. There will be times you don’t even want to search for it! BUT! Authentic joy, though rocked by our circumstances, will not be uprooted! Understanding how to find, embrace, experience and sustain joy is intrinsically tied to physical, emotional, and spiritual health. In other words, establishing pathways to joy is so worth it!

I invite your to join me as I explore pathways to joy! Together, we will explore Scripture, discuss practical habits, and identify joy-stealers. I’m a firm believer that ignorance and knowledge are hereditary! What you choose to learn and embrace, you will pass along to your children and your children’s children. Let’s be purposeful about developing a depth of joy that we can share with the precious ones in our lives!

Live Loved,

He is Risen!

Posted on by
Reply

It’s Resurrection Celebration week, also known as Holy Week! It’s a week to remember the events leading up to the empty tomb that Mary found on that morning so long ago. I had the pleasure of home-schooling my children and even though I worked full-time from home, I remember the blessing of being able to just BE with my kids. During this season, we purposely chose to spend time each day focusing on the gift of Jesus’ Sacrifice for us. One year, we even made a poster and added a picture or symbol for each day. This year, many families will have the flexibility and time to do the same, whether by necessity or by choice.

With that thought in mind, I’ve created a daily plan with activities focused on the events of Holy Week. With a few supplies (many found around the house or easily picked up while grocery shopping), you can facilitate focused conversation, thoughtful activities, and a meaningful family time that honors the Lord and deepens your own understanding of God’s gift to us through Jesus’ death and resurrection.

Palm Sunday & Monday: Read Matthew 21:6-11. Palm Sunday is the day that Jesus made His triumphal entry into Jerusalem.  It was a day when the people publicly declared that He was sent from God! Declare today how amazing Jesus is! Have each family member share something they love about God. Create an individual or family acrostic with the word HOSANNAH by writing each letter on its own line.  Then, write something that the Lord has blessed you with beside each letter. Decorate your acrostic and hang it on the fridge!

Example: H is for a Healthy body and mind!, I is for Incredible creativity…

Tuesday: Read Matthew 26:6-13. A woman poured a bottle of perfume over Jesus’ head to demonstrate her thankfulness for His love and forgiveness. Choose some Scriptures that celebrate Who the Lord is to us as His children.  Write the Scriptures on slips of papers and enclose them in plastic eggs (add a few jelly beans if you’d like!).  Hide the eggs around the house and have an egg hunt!  When the eggs are found, gather as a family and read the Scriptures.  Sing a song together such as How Great is Our God or Our God is an Awesome God. Here are a few Scripture suggestions: Exodus 34:6, Psalm 89:9, 136:3, Isaiah 9:6, Matthew 16:16, Mark 1:1, John 11:25, 14:6, 14:26, Romans 15:13, II Corinthians 4:7, Ephesians 3:20, I John 4:9, Revelation 22:13

Wednesday: Read Matthew 26:36-46. Jesus was willing to do what Father God wanted Him to do, even though it would be difficult. He knew that God was faithful and trustworthy! Create a reminder of God’s faithfulness! Gather planting supplies: small pots, soil, flower seeds, water.  As you put the seeds into the soil, name your worries, fears, and dreams.  Cover those seeds with soil and water.  As you do so, pray together declaring that you trust God with all of them!  When we give our desires and worries to God, He can make something beautiful from them!  Read: I Peter 5:7, Romans 8:28.
Note: A planting “how to” video can be found here.

Thursday: Read Matthew 26:17-30. On Holy Thursday, Jesus served a Passover meal to His disciples. Sing a song together and then brainstorm ways for each member of the family to serve one another. With older children, consider having communion together using grape juice and crackers or even spend time washing each others’ feet as a sign of willingness to serve and honor one another.  Here are some ideas for serving your family:

  • Do another family member’s laundry
  • Share a chore that would typically be individual
  • Wash someone’s car
  • Make a sibling’s bed
  • Create a meal together


Friday: Read Matthew 27:11-55 (or a shorter portion depending on the age of your children). Good Friday is a day to remember what Jesus did on the cross for us.  Watch a kid-friendly video about Jesus’ Crucifixion.  Share about the love that God has for us, even when we mess up.  Draw a cross shape or print one (one for your family or one for each person).  In pencil, write on the cross wrong behaviors such as unkind actions, impatience, selfishness, etc..  As a family, confess those actions and ask the Lord for forgiveness, then erase the words.  Celebrate! Jesus’ death on the cross erases our sins!  Then decorate the cross by coloring it, painting it, gluing on tissue paper, colored rocks, or pretty ribbon!

Saturday: Read Matthew 27:57-66. Imagine how the Disciples felt when Jesus was gone.  They didn’t realize that it was only temporary!  What is something that you are asking God for in your family?  Thank the Lord for the answer even though you haven’t seen it yet!
The Jelly Bean Poem: This is a fun and concrete way to think about Jesus’ sacrifice for us!  Write out or type the Jelly Bean Poem and create baggies of Jelly Beans to share with others.  You can also make a Jelly Bean Prayer bracelet or necklace using beads!  You can find the Jelly Bean Poem here.

Resurrection Sunday: Read Matthew 28:1-10. He is Risen! Make Easter Sunrise Empty Tombs to celebrate that His grave is empty! Use this recipe or find one on Pinterest. One family I know creates an Empty Tomb cake each year. Click here for an easy miniature version. 🙂 Whatever your tradition, embrace it as a way to bring your family together to focus on the beautiful Gift of Easter morning!
Celebration time! Get dressed up! Wear one new item (shirt, dress, hairbow, socks) as a reminder that we are new creations (II Corinthians 5:17). In lieu of going to church this year, watch an online service.  Sing along to the songs, participating just as would if you were there in person. 
Organize a neighborhood car parade: Decorate your cars with streamers and a poster saying, “Jesus is Alive!” or something similar.  Line up in a central place and then drive around your neighborhood with the windows down, cheering and honking!  If you can’t organize a parade, be your own 1-car parade! Celebrate Jesus all day long!

Each Resurrection Sunday, as I get ready for the day, the song Arise My Love plays through my mind (and usually through my speakers)! The grave no longer has a hold on us as believers in Jesus! I am so thankful for the gift of Jesus’ sacrifice! In His death and resurrection we have forgiveness, freedom, healing, deliverance, restoration, an inheritance and everlasting life! Hallelujah! He is Risen!

Live Loved and Free!

A Case for Fatherhood

Posted on by
4

This Father’s Day, our worship team, like many others, led us in the song, “Good, Good Father.”1  How beautiful it must have sounded in the realms of Heaven, hearing strains of this song echoing from all over the world.  What a powerful truth that the enemy has tried to steal from the hearts of society as a whole.

Think about it, over the past 40 years, the media has tried to erase the remnants of fathers worth respecting.  It has presented us with examples of fathers that are foolish, clueless, outdated, and dull.  It has attacked strong fathers as being macho, selfish, or chauvinistic.  Stereotypes have been applied and enforced through television shows, lyrics, and comics strips. 

As the respect for fatherhood declined, so did the fathers.  Men began abdicating their role in droves eventually creating a generation that was dubbed, “The Fatherless Generation.”2

That’s not to say that there haven’t been some poor examples of fatherhood.  Many can attest to experiencing painful childhoods because of absent, uninvolved, or abusive fathers.  And when your father memories are fraught with pain, the idea of God being a good, good Father is foreign and unrealistic.

But the role of fatherhood was created to be an expression of love and provision throughout childhood as well as one of guidance and wisdom for life.  It was originated by our Heavenly Father when He breathed His very breath into Adam and when He created Adam and then Eve, in His own image.3  He spent time with them each day, walking and talking.  That is the heart of the Father!  It’s a commitment of love that allowed Jesus to walk through a tortuous death and resurrection in order to reestablish a pathway of relationship with us!

We need fathers!  We need YOU, Dads! 

We don’t need you to be perfect but present!  We need fathers who will:

  • Listen to silly jokes and never-ending stories
  • Paint fingernails and toenails while sipping imaginary tea
  • Toss baseballs and practice dance moves
  • Schedule son events and daughter dates
  • Celebrate successes and rising from failures
  • Work elbow to elbow in chores and homework
  • Be teachable yet confident, kind yet firm
  • Demonstrate generosity, integrity, and faith
  • Lead, honor, and love through every season

I know, that’s a tall order, isn’t it?  But the payoff is without comparison! “The father of a righteous one rejoices greatly. Whoever fathers a wise child delights in him.” (Proverbs 23:24 TLV)  How does a father end up with a righteous and wise child?  By following the example of the Father of fathers!  What makes God a good, good Father?  He is loving, kind, compassionate, faithful, wise, merciful, generous, and oh, so, patient! 

You may be thinking, but He is perfect and I am not.  That’s true, but… His perfect love can flow through you–a less than perfect–but teachable father!  Trust that He loves you enough to give you all that you need to be the dad your family needs!

Dads, don’t shy away from your role!  Fathers are an integral part of God’s plan for healthy families a necessary foundation for healthy communities!  Not only do biological and blended families need their dads, but there are emotionally hungry children who need adopted dads, and spiritual orphans who long for spiritual dads.  Allow the Father’s love and character to flow through you to the next generation!  Your investment will bring dividends that far outlast your life here on earth!

Live Loved,

I’m immensely proud of this amazing man! He loves deeply and well. He is teachable and generous! I am ever so thankful for this Dad and my own Dad & Dad-in-Love! <3

P.S. It’s fascinating to learn about how young bull elephants act when the male role models are missing from their lives: https://youtu.be/5gsNjI99eFE

1Good, Good Father by Christ Tomlin, Songwriters: Anthony Brown / Pat Barrett

2The Fatherless Generation: https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/about/

3Genesis 1:26-27, 2:7

Stolen Identity

Posted on by
4

I rarely watch the news; the hate-filled acts across the world leave me heart broken and frustrated. Have you ever, like me, wondered…  Why is there so much hate in the world? 

Is hate caused by pride? Self-righteousness? Anger? Self-loathing? Pain? Fear?

Most likely, it’s a combination of these and more. 

But maybe you feel “hate” is too strong a word for the pervasive disregard and lack of decency we see on the news, in the store, in schools, in our neighborhood… regardless, there’s a grass roots effort to perpetuate this hatred.

The enemy of our soul is the source of hatred; Satan (meaning adversary), roams around on the earth delighting in causing death and destruction (John 10:10).  Again, why?

Biblical passages indicate that Lucifer, now known as Satan, became prideful, wanting to be like God or even above God.1  You see, angels were created by God, but they were not made in His image or to be like Him.

But who IS made in His image?  You and me! How Satan must have raged when He realized that God was creating man-male & female-to reflect His heart, His mind, and His nature!  God gave us what Satan couldn’t have, His likeness.  No wonder Satan is on a rampage to destroy us! His jealousy fuels his hatred of all mankind.

Satan and his minions have diverse tools of destruction at their disposal.  Sadly, many of those tools we put straight into their hands through our own decisions or lack of decision.  But the greatest tool he wields is that of identity stealer! 

How does he steal our identity?  Lies, whispered lies, constantly flowing through the media, through others, through our own self-criticism.  Lies that lead to pride, self-righteousness, anger, self-loathing, pain, and fear. His lies are meant to convince us that we are nothing like God, that we are alone, that we must fight to get what we want. Ultimately, these lies are meant to steal our God-given identity: Loved one.

When the enemy’s lies block out the truth of who we are, we become victims of a stolen identity!

Victims of stolen identity malfunction in thinking and in relationship.  They may think themselves better than others or never good enough.  They may feel entitled or victimized. They fear those who look, act, think, or believe differently than themselves.  Victims of stolen identity struggle with emptiness and confusion that ultimately leads them to hurt others. Does any of that sound familiar? It does to me!

The solution?  A journey of discovery!  Destination: Identity Restoration! 

In an atmosphere of love, children thrive!  They are free and expressive.   Ask them who they are and they declare their name and age.  Ask them who they belong to and they’ll throw their arms around a loving adult in their life.  Children play with any other pint-sized person that crosses their path, never requesting political leanings, portfolio proof, or family history.  They have not yet been branded by the lies that steal confidence in who they are.

That childlike confidence is still possible for you and me!  It’s a confidence born of trust in a Loving Father who created us to look like Him.  He looks on us in delight, even in the middle of our mess, because He sees in us, His own reflection!  Don’t get me wrong, He doesn’t delight in our poor choices.  They grieve His heart in the same way our children’s painful choices grieve us.  Yet, we as parents, look beyond our child’s actions and see the child, our child, precious and irreplaceable!  Why would Daddy God look at us any differently?

This is the basis of our identity: We are His beloved creation!  That’s right!  No matter who you are, what you believe, what skin you’re coated in, where you live, what you’ve done, what’s been done to you, how you dress, who you sleep with, what you’re addicted to, or how angry you are…  God loves YOU!  He is deeply smitten with you, His beloved image-carrier!  Your true identity is found in Him!  I’m sorry if anyone has made you feel less than loveable.  It’s not true!  You are worthy of being loved just because you are made in the image of God!

I challenge you… go on a journey of discovery!  Ask God to help you sense His love and develop a deep revelation of His love for you!  Look for Him in the burst of sunrise, the fragrance of a flower, and the sweet smile of a child.  Search the Bible for the truth of His love for you!2  Allow your heart to blossom to the reality that you have an amazing identity: God’s image-carrier!  You were designed to be a child of God.  As you turn your heart towards Him, you will find security and confidence in His love for you.  Your identity will be restored!

“And I pray that He would unveil within you the unlimited riches of His glory and favor until supernatural strength floods your innermost being with His divine might and explosive power.

Then, by constantly using your faith, the life of Christ will be released deep inside you, and the resting place of His love will become the very source and root of your life.

Then you will be empowered to discover what every holy one experiences—the great magnitude of the astonishing love of Christ in all its dimensions. How deeply intimate and far-reaching is His love! How enduring and inclusive it is! Endless love beyond measurement that transcends our understanding—this extravagant love pours into you until you are filled to overflowing with the fullness of God!” Ephesians 3:16-19 (tPt: the Passion translation)

If you are struggling to know and believe God’s love for you, please leave me a note and I will pray for you! You are not alone in your journey!

Live Loved! You truly are!

P.S. Please share on social media if this encouraged you! 🙂

1Isaiah 14:12-17, Ezekiel 28:11-19, I Timothy 3:6

2Jeremiah 29:11 & 31:3, John 3:16 & 15:13, I John 4, Psalm 139:1-18

What Language Do You Speak?

Posted on by
Reply

I don’t know about you, but when I’m alone in the car, I talk out loud… I talk to the Lord, I talk to the other drivers, I talk to myself, and I talk to the radio!

It’s possible that I looked a little cray-cray when I heard this song on the radio the other day! The beat grabbed my attention, but the lyrics…. Oh my! The lyrics resounded loud in my spirit and I couldn’t help pumping my fist in agreement!

Native Tongue by Switchfoot is a powerful statement about who we are and Who we came from! If we marry these two verses, you’ll see what I mean:

God is Love + God created mankind [us] in His image (I John 4:8, Genesis 1:27)

We were created to look like our Dad! He is love, He speaks love, He functions in love! Love is our native language! Take a listen: Native Tongue

We are born with the capacity to function in love and demonstrate love, but too often we are taught to function out of self-preservation, pain, and judgment. It’s time to go back to our native tongue!

Back before we learned the words to start a fight
Back before they told us that the haters were right
He spoke the truth, “let there be” and there was
Love is the language, love is your native tongue

My heart is a beating drum
My head in oblivion
My soul, such a long way from
My lips, my lungs, my native tongue

My friend, where did we go wrong?
My Lord, we forgot our sound
My soul, such a long way from
My lips, my lungs, my native tongue

So sing it loud, get loud, get
Louder than the voices in the crowd, yeah
Even when they tried to drown you out, eh
Your lips, your lungs, your native tongue

So sing it out, get loud, get
Louder than the darkness and the doubts, eh
Louder than the curses and the shouts, yeah
Your lips, your lungs, your native tongue

Songwriters: Brent Kutzle / Jonathan Mark Foreman / Timothy David Foreman
NATIVE TONGUE lyrics © Downtown Music Publishing

What a challenge! Lord, Take us back to the Place where we were created from: Your heart! Teach us to communicate like You! Help us to function as You created us to, out of love, instead of pain, judgement, or pride! Help us to “get louder than the voices in the crowd!”

Live Loved! And you will impact those around you with love!

P.S. If this blessed you or encouraged you, please share on social media! Drop me a comment too! 🙂

Be the Gold!

Posted on by
Reply

Recently, I wrote a blog called “Nuggets of Gold.” It was an encouragement to each of us to search for rays of hope in our life and situations that will help us keep pressing on!

Yesterday, after another rough day in 5th grade world, my husband reminded me of this Japanese art philosophy: kintsukuroi. He said, “You’ve said the public school system is broken and you’re right! But you are the gold that fills in the broken cracks! Keep doing what you’re doing because you make the difference!” What a blessing his encouragement was to me!

This morning, as I sat in a meeting, he shot me a text reminding me that I’m the gold! His timing was impeccable as I sat across from a teary-eyed colleague whose struggle of self-doubt and discouragement mirrored my own. I was able to share the value of what we do and who we are to our students! Truly, we are the gold in a broken system.

As I determine to be a treasure-hunter, looking for gold in the dark and hurting places, I don’t want to forget to be the gold too. Join me in this: don’t just look for the gold in your difficult circumstances and challenging obstacles. BE the gold in whatever hurting system you are in! Brokenness can be made beautiful when it brings opportunities for problem-solving, healing, and growth!

Live Loved and Golden!

Nuggets of Hope

Posted on by
2

When I decided I wanted to be a teacher, I had grandiose thoughts of inspiring the next generation to thrive in their learning!  I expected classrooms full of shining faces anxious to hear all I had to share with them.  I just knew that I could help them love reading, embrace math, and become flourishing writers!  Years later, I must confess that those dreams are quite tarnished and reality has firmly ground out the spark of this naïve educator’s lofty goals.

Please don’t judge me harshly. I’m sure there are some who’ve had much better experiences than myself.  But the reality is that today’s public schools are filled with students who accurately reflect the failing family structures in our communities.  As the family units continue to disintegrate, the impact on the school system as a whole and the educators who daily pour into those students is intense.  Most teachers I know are exhausted, frustrated, and downright discouraged.  Yet, we come back each morning with a renewed hope that today will be a better day!  In all honesty, it’s hard to keep that upbeat attitude in the midst of it all. Yes, the struggle is very real!

This week, my near-breaking point arrived as I was looking over a stack of essays.  I’d spent a significant amount of time meeting one-on-one with nearly 50 students to discuss areas of success and growth potential prior to this new writing.  As I skimmed through the stack, the lack of progress and even regression was utterly disheartening!  I felt the dark stain of hopelessness oozing over my heart.  “Why bother?  I’m not making a difference! The need is so great, I don’t know where to even begin!”

If you know me, you know that this attitude is generally unlike me.  I’d like to say that I’m able to always rise above it all, but that’d be less than honest.  Those who walk in shoes like mine well know the feelings I was experiencing! 

Such hopelessness is compounded by the sense of fighting a battle alone. This is why we need each other!1 

We need to have others in our life that are there to prop us up when we are ready to tumble!  And we need to be there for others who find themselves slipping down the slope of discouragement.2  For me, it was one of my co-workers who is well aware of all we face.  She listened to me lament and then encouraged me to stop looking at the vast needs and focus instead on the points of success.  She reminded me to be willing to accept and encourage the steps forward instead of demanding the leaps… of myself and of my students. 

Her simple admonishment was just what I needed to hear.  I long to be the miracle worker my students need, but honestly, the weight of such expectations will keep me tethered to frustration on a daily basis.  So, I again settle in my heart that I just can’t fix it all. BUT I can be the beacon of hope my students need in the midst of their reality… no matter how they perform, which choices they make, or what emotions we encounter in our day.  I need to be the one to search for and find those rays of hope. Those steps of success, no matter how small, are worth celebrating as progress!

It’s like mining for gold!  Each student, each co-worker, each day… harbors nuggets of gold, virtual treasures waiting to be discovered!3  These gold nuggets are reasons to hope, reasons to be thankful, reasons to press on.  That is the hope I need to remember and cling to when a breaking point looms on the horizon!  “Gold mining” is an attitude I can and need to share with others who feel suffocated by the overwhelming reality of our chosen profession.

But it’s not educators alone, is it?!  You may find yourself drowning under the flood of life’s demands… physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, or financially.  Don’t give up hope!  And don’t go it alone!  There are hope-carriers around you that will remind you to look for the gold nuggets in the dark and suffocating places.  You may have to search a little harder on some days than others, but they are there! The world needs you!  Don’t jump ship!  Find a beacon of hope on the dark days. Be a beacon of hope whenever the need arises.4 Together we can search for gold… reasons to hope and celebrate!

I’m not just a teacher, I’m a treasure hunter!  How about you? You’re not just a _____________, you are a treasure hunter too!

Live Loved,

1Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. NLT

2Galatians 6:2 Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. NLT3II Corinthians 13:11 Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you. NLT

3Psalm 139:14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. NLT

4II Corinthians 13:11 Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you. NLT